Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a shop known for its hardcore sex toys. We happened to run into one of my university lecturers and her wife discussing butt plugs with a member of staff, and then saw my aunt and uncle at the register. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, a customer walked up to me with a dog toy and said, "I knew one-stop shopping was a thing, but I didn't know you guys carried dildos." FML
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where my husband works. I wanted to surprise him, so I went up behind him and started kissing his neck. He seemed to love it, and so did I, until I noticed it wasn't my husband. FML
Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Oh no! Now your neighbour knows you have a healthy sex life! Whatever will you do? How will you ever live it down? The only solution is to have loud, raucous sex all the time so he knows your purchase was successful.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
Hey, you only BOUGHT something from a sex shop. They WORK there. I think you're pretty even!
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Comments (198)
perdix 31
Now you know you don't need to buy anything from there, you can just borrow stuff from your neighbor, knowing they probably got a healthy discount on some of the toys. Heck, they probably got some defective and returned units for free! Your only investment now will be in industrial-strength disinfectants.
crazytwinsmom 25
Defective toys, interesting visual!
CharresBarkrey 16
The thought of using someone else's sex toys makes me cringe.
erinnrose 9
that's just bad luck
smiliecat 13
If they work in an adult store 30 minutes away, it's a good chance they don't really tell people what they do (you didn't know). So you'll be fine, besides they work around that stuff all the time. They've probably seen a lot of 'embarrassed' people, even ones they knew. It's really nothing to be ashamed of. Like other people say, you're married! I guarantee people already know you have sex.
thecrapblog 8
Man that was the wrong adult sore for you
perdix 31
"adult sore?!?!?" I found my nominee for Best Typo of 2012.
Trooth 13
If you are ashamed of your sex life, then toys probably wont fix anything anyway
coolbrony12 3
Your "hubby"? Please use proper English.
saksxalmo 20
1) God forbid language have any variety! 2) There's really no such thing as "proper" English. This isn't French; there's no Academie Anglaise. Correctness in English is more like a scale than a strict division between right and wrong. You learn something new every day! ;)
Czech_Zidane 14
That is not the thing that irks me the most. "Hubby" is just a diminutive, no problem with that. Using "your" instead of "you're", "sauce" instead of "source", "ware" instead of "wear" or even "moar" instead of "more" and so on is worse I say. English is my second language and such mistakes are just horrible I say.
saksxalmo 20
#46, I totally agree. Those errors should only be allowed in the most informal situations between native speakers, otherwise it just impedes communication. Like I said, correctness is a scale. Those are just WAY at the bottom of it. :)
chellyX92 8
Ima go ahead and say YDI for caring what people think. You guys are married, plain and simple what other people think or see is irreverent.
kattylizbeth 19
Duuuude, grammar check.
_krystallynn_ 11
hey, now he's probably embarrassed that you caught him working at an adult toy store. lol. dont worry about itt.
sweetmama88 6
Why do you care what other people think? Your a married couple., if your interested in buying toys to spice up your love life with your husband , I personally think its not anyone business what you do .your both adults !
Czech_Zidane 14
Even if they would not be married - why to care about what other people think? I do not pry into their lives and I want them to not pry into my life, simple as that.
dgiles_7 1
Which is more awkward...you finding out he works there, or him seeing you buying stuff there...
CharresBarkrey 16
Neither, because everyone has sex, and everyone needs to work.