Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML
Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait until marriage. Four hours later, he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
Today, my husband and I returned from a much needed weekend away. I found out that during that time, his weird ass parents tried to force our daughter to do one of those creepy virginity pledges, complete with a “purity” ring ceremony. She’s literally 9 years-old. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML
Today, I tried to make things less awkward by complimenting my Tai Chi partner's ring and he says, "Thanks, it's a purity ring!" I said, "I used to have one of those. Would you believe me if I said I lost it in a river?" Now my entire Tai Chi class thinks I lost my virginity in a river. FML
Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML
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Top comments
takeapieandrun 9
OP's parents probably think they are little angels.
Natasa1996 0
aaaaand how old are you?? haha jokes thats sooo awkward :/
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Comments (67)
Gabbysmum92 0
Hahaha. They still have those? (:
DasHaas 9
Perhaps you should just say "thanks for the gift, but it's a bit too late for that."
maphineRAWRS 10
"Oh... oh gee... oh um, thanks.. mum. uh, thanks dad."
QueenMichael 16
I'm not going to click "Your life sucks" at someone who's managed to lose their virginity. That does not suck.
Jasonf6 0
Your parents are idiot bible thumpers. Get out while u can.
Breezy4sheezy 2
Did it burn when you put it on?
PuffDaddy395 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Twin brother and I*
Ebola_fml 20
No, op was correct.
gamerwife 4
Ops grammar was the correct way - me and my twin... you don't say "they gave I..."... and OP... not much of a FML unless you confessed and then were grounded for the rest of your natural life...
docscientist 10
Wrong. Next time try saying the sentence without the twin brother involved and you'll get your correct form.
crukestal 1
The craziest part is that they lost it to each other!
Inspired22 11
Well, maybe...you never know...parents can be hypocrites...
perdix 31
Good thing your parents didn't shell out for those purity rings with a built-in lie detector. You'd be wearing a searing, ring of shame that glows cherry-red.
Andr913 13
That sounds like an STI.
Everstang 0
Hi