Today, I tried to make things less awkward by complimenting my Tai Chi partner's ring and he says, "Thanks, it's a purity ring!" I said, "I used to have one of those. Would you believe me if I said I lost it in a river?" Now my entire Tai Chi class thinks I lost my virginity in a river. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, I was the ring bearer at a wedding, something I'd been nervous about being ever since the groom asked me. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped over nothing and the ring flew from the little silk pillow and rolled into a nearby pond. FML
Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the second grade. FML
Today, I was so happy to be divorced from my asshole husband, I threw my ring off the bridge near the park where we met. As I was walking away, a diver surfaced, yelled, “I think you dropped this, miss” and threw the ring back at me. I can't catch a break today. FML
Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, and he thought it would be funny to steal my ring and "pretend" to swallow it. I tried to get it back, but unfortunately I "surprised" him. He reckons I'll get it back some time tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Either way you got wet.
RichardPencil 32
Dummies! You can't lose your virginity in a river. You can lose it by sitting on a dirty toilet seat. Everyone should get proper Sex Ed.
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Comments (20)
Welshite 40
Either way you got wet.
laescroc 4
Sounds like you just established yourself as the badass of the class.
chirstinap325 23
Bad wordingll do that to ya haha wonder how awkward class is now
RichardPencil 32
Dummies! You can't lose your virginity in a river. You can lose it by sitting on a dirty toilet seat. Everyone should get proper Sex Ed.
MaxTheNeko 9
you can't lose your virginity by sitting on a dirty toilet.
awesomeamandas 37
the joke went way to far over #10s head.
BestOrginalName 22
WOOSH! - the sound that was made as the joke went over your head, #10.
honeyleee 15
LOLLLL. Thumbs up cuz I'm dying of laughter xD
Kristoffer 35
IMO losing your virginity in a river is pretty badass.
CastaP 12
My first thought was that you lost it too, so you Tai Chi group needs to get their head out of the gutter ^^
ThrottleJockey 36
Or out of the river.
fmyinternet 13
lol I thought were calling their ring "purty" like with a country accent. Had to re read, lol
cuz803 46
Losing your virginity to a river?! Pffh how stupid. An ocean makes more sense
izzajaneful 24
I think it's the, "Would you believe me if..." that caused them to think that. People usually don't preface ordinary statements with that. Reading this, I thought you were purposefully implying that you lost your virginity in a river. Funny either way, though.
jbivens1992 17
So? Haha, that sounds like an awesome story and its hardly embarrassing.