Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while bringing my grandmother some water, I tripped, dropping and shattering the glass. Infuriated, she explained to me that the glass was worth more than I am and ordered me out of her house for good. I live there. I was also with her when she bought the glass. $10 for a set of 4. FML
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML
Today, I attempted to show off my juggling skills at a family gathering using oranges. One slipped out of my hand, hit a shelf, and knocked over a picture of my parents. The glass frame shattered, and now my family thinks I have a vendetta against their marriage. FML
Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and "drop" a twenty in my grandma's house for her to find. She injured her back while picking it up. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML
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Top comments
d00d_c0m3_0n 0
People should get those types of things framed, or get some form of display case. Just to keep peoples juice off of it. Or maybe she should have given you a sippy cup.
Edmund_Dantes 0
You destroyed an antique that your grandmother clearly valued. F YOUR life?
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Comments (35)
bettyc4 26
That's why we can't have nice things -.-
marchbunny 6
Dude, your grandmother should be writing this