Today, it's been almost five years since the cat I grew up with passed away. I STILL have dreams where she's alive and well, only to be utterly crushed when I wake up and realize it's just that: a dream. I also have dreams like this with my grandma, who died last year. I guess I'll never get over them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's officially been a year since my grandma passed away. I still have the occasional dream where I go to her house and she's right there, waiting for me, after which I wake up sobbing because it will never happen again. I don't wanna be an adult anymore. FML
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML
Today, I've been trying to adopt a cat with little success since my last one died. My other cat, who had grown attached to him when she realized he was dying, has been lazier and more prone to seeking attention than before since he passed away. I now know cats can suffer from depression. I feel bad now. FML
Today, my 21-year-old cat, who has learned when I go to bed and waits in my bedroom for me every night, was waiting for me as usual last night. She got on top of me and I fell asleep pretty fast. When I woke up, she was still there, so I decided to wait until she moved. It took me an hour to realize she'd died. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was with my last girlfriend, from five years ago. Nothing dirty. Just leaning on each other, talking, and smiling. Woke up and felt like she was really here, and now I miss her as much as when she had to leave the country. FML
Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML
Today, I felt euphoric joy upon finding my deceased cat alive! Then utter devastation: she was suffering and needed putting down. Then joy! She recovered! Then crippling loss when it didn't last. This vivid emotional nightmare continued over and over until I woke up sobbing. My Fitbit says it was my best sleep in a year. FML
Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML
Today, ever since I had to rehome my cat because he was really mean, I've been wanting to get another one to replace him. I remembered a particular cat I found at the adoption center who seemed to like me a lot, and I decided I wanted to adopt her. When I got there, I found out she unexpectedly died yesterday. FML
Today, I dreamt of my mom. She came over to me, and said, "Hey, I'm alright, the doctors were wrong." My mom died 4 months ago due to Covid-19 complications, and waking up shouldn't be so painful. FML
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Top comments
d j mom 9
it will always hurt, yet you will slowly come to not think of them every damn day. trust me, they know that you loved the cap outta them.
TomeDr 25
I’m sorry that you experience this so often but the sharp emotions you’re feeling should be fading somewhat by now. You might want to consider grief counseling.
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Comments (3)
TomeDr 25
I’m sorry that you experience this so often but the sharp emotions you’re feeling should be fading somewhat by now. You might want to consider grief counseling.
TwoBytesCarley 27
I second this. If it still feels like it was yesterday that you lost your loved ones, grief may have turned into trauma. A trauma or grief counselor would be the best thing at this time to help you move forward. Moving forward with your life does not mean you stopped loving them, it means that you are loving yourself too.
metalmeow 13
Some people believe that when you dream about a loved one who has passed on, it's because their spirit is visiting you. Maybe your grandma and your kitty are checking on you in your dreams.
d j mom 9
it will always hurt, yet you will slowly come to not think of them every damn day. trust me, they know that you loved the cap outta them.
tiptoppc 21
Yup. I think of my “perfect dog” which died at only 9. It hurts to think about them sometimes, but I also realize I was fortunate to be in my early adult years instead of a toddler where I appreciated every minute with them, and it sucks that I feel that wasn’t enough, but when they were alive, I knew to cherish them. My first cat has hit 10 years. He seems healthy enough to live longer, but he’s also one of the best pets i could have and I cherish and treat him with love like he’ll be gone tomorrow. And it’s awesome knowing at my age that I will not regret anything as that cat, just like my dog, was treated kindly and they showed me a lot of love in return.