Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML
Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML
Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML
Today, I was showing my step-dad old photos of the family. We got to a picture of me and I mentioned how much weight I've lost. He muttered, "Heh, fat AND blind". FML
Today, I accidentally poked myself in the left eye. As I sat there in pain, my 9-year-old nephew, who we think has OCD, decided to help out by poking me in the right eye. FML
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
"Auntie Cyclops! Auntie Cyclops! Guess what? I got a new 3D TV, and . . . Oh, shit."
nemisis11 12
"look on the bright side" ..you should have just stopped there :-P
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Comments (149)
lerouxmaster 7
And make sure you get that ******* eye fixed.
yadisingh 5
.... You're the reason certain people shouldn't breed.
Flutequeen 0
Rude much.
AndieAvacado 0
That's really rude to say to someone...why don't you get fixed so we can't have more assholes like you!
iswearitslegit 0
wtf. ya def not funny. being even semi blind is probably one of the worst handicaps out there! get a life
RawrNom 0
most people can't get the eye fixed. can a blind person just ask to see? I don't think it works like that dumbass
tweetbaby14 18
Well.... If deaf people can get a surgery to make them able to hear, saw it on done on tv, what makes you guys so positive there's nothing for blind/semi-blind people? Maybe there is and it just costs butt loads of money?
Flutequeen 0
That's just rude. I'm sorry.
juturnaamo 29
So it's all 3d to you, right?
StopDropNRoll 11
Actually it's all 2D. This no time to joke around this is serious! =P
Inspired22 11
#7, my best friend is blind in one eye and still can't see 3D. The technology is not new, and she feels super left out every time everyone goes out to see the awesome new 3D movies. I feel for the OP.
RealChinese 7
Awesome 3D movies? That's a stretch, you just name the two awesome 3D movies.
Jaguar1234 0
Lion king :P
ReynshineCutting 10
After 10 minutes watching a movie in 3D, you get used to it and the rest looks like 2D. It's a total waste of money.
mango260 9
Just stand super close to the tv!
Yodaevil 4
3d done right adds very nicely to movies, and it has to be a decent tv set to look good at home. Movies that use it as a gimmick, well, you should know better in the first place!
MagicallyFat 12
Lion king is the only exception haha. I remember I saw a 3d movie it wasn't tjat great tbh
EwanSmith 2
hindsight is 20/20
Enslaved 38
Looking back it's still a bit fuzzy. *** A "Megadeth" song taught me that expression.(:
perdix 31
Next awkward moment: Nephew raves about Popeye's Fried Chicken.
iftheglovefits 0
Lolorama
rangerready13 0
I lost my eye in Afghanistan 4 years ago and guess what. Can't see 3D. You need depth perception to see 3D. To have depth perception u need 2 eyes. Your mom should have swallowed you.
sseberly 11
I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say thank you for serving our country.
GrammaticalNazi 2
52 - Seems like your overly pessimistic prediction didn't come true.
ReynshineCutting 10
You know, I don't particularly give a **** if you served my country if you're an asshole. Just because someone is born with a birth defect, it doesn't mean they won't have a good life. It might be harder, but they can still enjoy it. Maybe your mom should've swallowed you so you wouldn't make insensitive comments, or gone to Afghanistan to lose an eye.
happyhak 5
#72, I think he was aiming his comment at #7, not the OP...
HannahJoButtons 2
Well, 72, if you don't appreciate their service to our country then you should go to the front lines! I for one appreciate what they are doing! They weren't being an a-hole, but you sure were.
tweetbaby14 18
Guys, look, not everyone that goes off to war is some amazing saint.... I know this. My "father" went. He's an asshole.
ReynshineCutting 10
I appreciate respectable soldiers' who serve our country. Would you respect a soldier who fought if he was a rapist as well? I didn't think so. Serving your country doesn't give you a free pass to be an ass. If soldier boy up there was aiming his comment at someone else other than OP then either 1) he should've made it clear who he was talking to or 2) FML glitched and posted his comment in the wrong spot and if that's the case I apologize. But if he was talking to OP I don't apologize in the least bit.
happyhak 5
#95, if #18 was talking about the requirements to see 3D, how would that make sense if he was replying to the OP? Part of the FML was that the OP could not see 3D, so if #18 could also not see 3D and both the OP and #18 can relate to each other, why would #18 throw a random insult at OP? You know, sometimes commenting on FML is about common sense...Just saying...
WitchyArmyWife00 0
You're an idiot! Seriously are your comments any better. The only ignorant and insensitive comments are from you.
WitchyArmyWife00 0
What the hell are you talking about he is just saying that being blind in one eye doesn't give you the ability to see in 3D why you had to throw in anything about him being American only makes you look like an arse. Bloody cheeky wanker!
WitchyArmyWife00 0
All he said was that being blind in one eye does not give you 3D vision so I don't know why you had to turn this into some American thing is beyond and it's really bloody cheek of you.
ReynshineCutting 10
I didn't turn it into an American thing. I turned it into an "I'm not supporting an asshole just because he fought in a war" thing. Like I said, I thought he directed his comment at OP. If he did, he's a dick and doesn't get any respect from me regardless of fighting on the front lines. If it was an fml comment bug or to someone else, then I apologize. Granted, telling anyone that they shouldn't have been born isn't exactly something a respectable person would say, so he still doesn't get my respect.
Joshoa123 16
Awkward Turtle.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Awkward Salmon
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Awkward balloon
Feklfekl2222 32
I did the actions to awkward balloon when you did that
underguarded 20
At least it wasn't intentional OP. Poor kid was just trying to brighten your day.
mtbrown 0
How did you write this if your blind
fogrunner 13
Plus I guess there are keyboards and stuff for blind people anyway.
drawmesunshine 17
Yeah, there was a blind kid in my 8th grade history class. He had this funny typewriter thing to do all his school work.
drawmesunshine 17
Yeah, there was a blind kid in my 8th grade history class. He had this funny typewriter thing to do all his school work.
Shenannigoats 16
Blind in one eye. How are you on here if you can't read? :3
poopy910 8
First off, people are still able to read things with machines that say things out for you now. also, it seems like you're the one that can't read. He said he was blind in one eye.