Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML
Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML
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Top comments
281go 4
I'm pretty sure your mom planned that before time.......
happyhak 5
Through all this chaos and havoc, I have only 1 question: Your mother gets drunk and the first thing she does is take out the garbage?
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Comments (108)
Stevefett 0
Were they crotchless?
1california_girl 0
hahahha I hope she wasn't fat;)
Casrein 0
So your boyfriend saw quite a few bags that day...
perdix 31
If he thinks your family tradition is that the women take out the trash, that's a plus for you! And if your mom looked good, he'll think that what he's getting in 20-25 years. That could be good for you, unless he wants that NOW, in which case, you could become his stepchild :(
aardvarkish 17
I guess he knows what to look forward to.
trackrunner00008 0
ydi for saying mum
gangstalife4me 0
pics or it didnt happen
281go 4
I'm pretty sure your mom planned that before time.......
bonacca 2
if I was your bf I would have went into milf hunter mode. If your mom is hott...or got a nice phat ass. skeet skeet$
dopebaby420 0
Go mom!