Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, after spending a great evening with the guy I really like, he dropped me off outside my house. When he pulled into my driveway, his lights shone onto my drunken mum taking the garbage out in nothing but her black panties. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex-girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
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Top comments
HowAreYouToday 34
well, on the bright side, you didn't make it to 'his' bedroom.
Catkam623 27
A nice boy like that didn't give you a ride home? Chivalry is dead.
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Comments (75)
FrankHotpants 31
Did you go home with Howard Wolowitz?
WhiteCrimson 23
He clearly has separation anxiety issues. Well at least the walk of shame did not include a photo opportunity and you g-string flown as a flag outside his window. Luck was indeed on your side
CallMeMcFeelii 14
That's exactly what a 12 year old would say. Oh wait, you are 12? Ok, yeah I see your point now..
potatomanjr 16
I pay rent to live with my parents, I'm 18. It's better than paying for electric, water, heating/etc that I would have to pay if I lived alone. Also it's a lot cheaper than paying rent on an apartment.
DocBastard 40
UltraBuda - I'm quite sure your mother wouldn't be pleased if she knew you thought of her as your maid. That's incredibly rude and disrespectful. Now GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM, you little punk.
worldclassrager 41
Fail on him...but at least you know his mother maybe things can move forward a bit.,,either way I think you should find someone else...
kellyem2 20
I'm sorry, but are you mad that some guy tried to be respectful of you instead of using you for sex?
nisse_fml 9
Using her for sex? In what way is a woman "used" for sex when she clearly wanted to have sex with him? We're no longer living in the 50-ies, women aren't made of porcelain and they also have a sex drive. They don't put up with sex (or if they do, you're doing it wrong), they enjoy it.
Captivation 5
Lmfao
ea247 20
I feel like that's a worst walk of shame than the one you do if you did go to his bedroom I'm sorry OP
lukep135 6
I'm quite diassapointed in the responses from this FML. It's now a bad thing if you don't use somebody for sex in a one night stand? Sure the motherly talk is awkward, but I guess actually starting a relationship with a nice man is out of the question. It's all about the sex apperently
glitterkuro 18
It's not a bad thing to have sex on a one night stand either. And it's not 'using somebody' for sex when you both just want to have a one night thing.