Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML
Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jeezburger12 10
That's a very smart thing to say to your boss...
Outsider_77 0
You forgot to say "is a wonderful woman" afterwards
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (228)
Jeffers123 5
I need to ask this.... Is Everyone on FML a freaking Buzzkill???
BobbyGuthbert 5
Legend.
rachbat00 0
That was a nice comeback
Armyboy124 0
Well, did you do his mom?
stompic 2
YDI for being mindless !
Epikouros 32
Forget getting a job, you should become a stand-up comedian. You've got the right attitude, you just need to think up better jokes.
MerahNikole 0
It's natural instinct.. It's all good man, he deserved it.
HunterAlpha1 8
lol this reminds me of that scene from family guy: employer: "so peter, where do you see yourself in five years?" peter: (don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife) "doing your... son?" :D
ZombieKittenz 6
I'm speechless.
Crackers25 0
Haha! You have done what so many of us want to! Great tale