Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that the delicious beef jerky strips I’ve been eating all week are actually the dog’s teeth cleaning chews. FML
Today, my sister put a piece of leather in my homemade beef jerkey to prove a point. I ate it. FML
Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I yawned and broke a front tooth. Yes, you read that correctly. I did a big yawn, my jaw suddenly hurt, I felt something crack and half my tooth fell into my lasagna. FML
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Top comments
coconutdaydream 7
I guess you're not used to putting hard things in your mouth
lonkite101 14
Buy bacon instead!
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Comments (90)
KBeatz 5
It was beef jerky. Worth it.
PoseidonsSon 3
True. Anything is worth the delicious leather of the lion gods.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Everytime I see or hear about beef jerky, I think of a bull jer-- nevermind
coconutdaydream 7
I guess you're not used to putting hard things in your mouth
coconutdaydream 7
But that is an FML, the dentist is not fun!
Keevarou 17
Putting hard things in the mouth is fun though :3
GVirdi 11
2 are you?
romesh17fml 8
OP, look on the bright side, you can predict the future
FifBowie 0
OP, dont worry, some people find broken teeth sexy :p
hecallsmedarlin 7
2 - Your first comment was great. But, you should have left it with that one.
Jaxx66 21
2/7... I love my dentist! You've just not been to the right ones. Unless you had my fiancé's dentist when he was a kid, they called the place "Helga's House Of Pain". But then again, breaking teeth isn't fun.
ebonyirony 29
ROCK CANDY.
williamcarter93 13
When I read this, I immediately thought of a long hard dick
Tweekz14 5
I just thought of hard beef jerky..
coconutdaydream 7
Tbh when I posted this I had a -8 so I added a sympathetic comment, in reality who didn't read this and think of many innuendo's?
lonkite101 14
Buy bacon instead!
ladyLALAA 29
This should be number 1. :)
onlychildFTW 34
Bacon is more then a million times better then beef jerky. Not to mention it won't break teeth!
BunchieRules 31
25 - Also, beef prices are skyrocketing where I live. A small packet of generic jerky costs $6. Just another good reason to buy bacon.
dude1122332 9
You're pink enough to be a pig. I'll fire up the grill.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Bacon is the answer to every problem. :)
perdix 31
Probably low quality crap. You need to go to a meat-drying competition to get the best product from masters of the craft. Ask around to find out about the next local Jerky-Off.
teague95 16
or better yet he can go to the next local Jerk-Off competition. I hear the loser finishes first.
flockz 20
honestly if i was in a whack off competition with a bunch of other guys beating their meat all around me, i would consider myself a winner for getting the **** out of there as soon as possible.
GVirdi 11
23 but why would you sign up in the first place ._.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
33) Maybe 23 was dragged along with no idea where they were headed 0.o what an awful surprise. *shivers*
GVirdi 11
45 I want to play a game..
ladyLALAA 29
Ouch, OP that is really terrible! I chipped my tooth once when I was drunk, not only does it look terrible but it's very expensive to get fixed. Good luck at the dentist office!
stewy133 10
You couldn't feel how hard it was before you put it in your mouth?
munchy22 5
Is that what you do before eating beef jerky?
flockz 20
context is so important for your comment, 6.
stewy133 10
Haha no but wouldn't you notice that the jerky was hard in your hands before you stuck it in your mouth?
myalleyway 9
you cant always tell
GVirdi 11
No it isn't 26
GVirdi 11
Wtf dammit 26 why did you have to change your "that's what she said" comment now my other comment just looks stupid(er) and random
lajaynay 15
Damn. Stale jerky is awful. Chew softly when dealing with that shit.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I don't think it was stale, though 0.o
Keevarou 17
Now try to think "this ticket is so blessed I will win the jackpot" Maybe you're a witch/wizard!
roseXthorns 8
I feel stupid because it took me a minute to get it, and then I face palmed for my own stupidity.
GVirdi 11
90 probably tumblr, I see a ton of pictures like that on there
brackaman 18
Well look at it this way, at least your instincts seem to on point. Regardless of whether or not you listen to them.
GVirdi 11
Yeah it's a special skill these days Just like common sense
munchy22 5
I guess that's what the kids are calling it these days.
tne201992 12
Well at least you can put that tooth under your pillow..... Oh wait! The tooth fairy isn't real, shit!!
GVirdi 11
WHAT?!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
18 WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ******* TOOTH FAIRY ISN'T REAL?!?! Hey, you see that in the garbage disposal? Yeah, that's my entire childhood. Thanks, 18.
ambowew 7
I'm sure Alf Stewart will jump at the chance. He's always wearing his stomping boots, just so he can stomp *****.
ambowew 7
Sigh, wrong comment post, again. As per usual, blaming the computer, I choose you!
rcgirl2 11
*Stewie's Voice* Childhood officially ruined.
KiddNYC1O 22
This is just horrible.
dubstep12 8
There goes my hopes and dreams.. :/ Thanks a lot:(