Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that the delicious beef jerky strips I’ve been eating all week are actually the dog’s teeth cleaning chews. FML
Today, my sister put a piece of leather in my homemade beef jerkey to prove a point. I ate it. FML
Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I yawned and broke a front tooth. Yes, you read that correctly. I did a big yawn, my jaw suddenly hurt, I felt something crack and half my tooth fell into my lasagna. FML
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Top comments
coconutdaydream 7
I guess you're not used to putting hard things in your mouth
lonkite101 14
Buy bacon instead!
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Comments (90)
Pandacupcakelove 26
It's just like when you say "Atleast it's not raining". DONT!
ObsessedWithMe 13
Ouch sorry op, be more careful next time.
GVirdi 11
17 also don't want to wipe with your hand half way either
TheDog6 24
If you ever think to yourself " This knife is sharp enough to cut myself with." Please put the knife down.
Arrawyn 12
Irony-1 OP-0
Skinwalker131 5
*plays rim shot* nice pun
fadingaway 17
Didn't you feel how hard the biltong was before you put it in your mouth?
dubstep12 8
What's biltong?? :p
fadingaway 17
What OP ate. South African word for jerky, because "jerky" sounds really stupid.
bmkc4 1
What kind was it? I eat jerkey all the time and I don't want to buy that kind.
cptmorgan6 8
Everyone gets hurt messin' with Sasquatch.
xxjohippiexx 8
Lol wowww...
fmessiah 19
Clean your teeth better, consume less sugar, make sure you have the required daily intake of the vitamins and minerals you need? Your teeth should not break that easily.
isaiaah 6
I brush And floss daily. And I've still broken a tooth on stuff, its not impossible to happen out of the blue. Regularly you bit and tear jerky, so that's gonna happen one of these days
Pigeon89 34
Speaking as a dentist- teeth shouldn't break that easily- brushing and flossing everyday is only effective if you're doing it correctly, and eating healthily