Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML
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Top comments
Katers22 0
I would slap you if you licked your finger then touched me. YDI, for way intruding a thing called personal space.
jillz 0
Did you actually put your spit on her face? F Her L
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Comments (161)
scottyz1 0
You need a bit more than something like Ajax to get that off dude.
Glam_fml 0
92, I would do something physical in retaliation if someone licked their finger and tried to touch me with it. I wouldn't mind it so much if it was a dry finger, but who knows where that mouth has been??
jaybyrd 0
DUDE! that's DISGUSTING. but id be more embarassed being her
Muggaar 0
Why the heck would you lick your finger? thats just disgusting
irawk 0
hahahhaha.. thats awesomee
kimisaparasite 0
you shouldve just played it off like "oh, yeah, i got it off."
hahayou12345 0
Aw you sick ****.
didi666_fml 0
spit on some stangers face!!!!!! I hated when my mom did that to me so I cant imagine some random person!!! right next to her mouth!!! you are an idiot and Y totally DI!
emodude44 0
#4 AMEN AMIGO Oh and thats just gross did she slap you?
haederman 0
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Y WOULD U DO THAT, SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNO U THATS DISGUESITING, FYL INDEAD UR A ******* EPIC FAIL. UR NASTY *****.