Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hannah_fml 0
Harsh for the first time, but I wish I could think up comebacks that fast. Mine always come like 30 seconds later, which, is not really a long time, but it is to have a 30 second break in a conversation.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
THINK OF DE CHILDRUN!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
chemistryloveHP 0
Aw! I am so sorry that happened to you! What a jerk....
gummibehrs 4
Why do people feel they have to describe their sex on this site? "After we had crazy animal sex", "after he passionately made love to me", "we had raw pornstar sex"...
Chocolate_Chunk 2
THINK OF DE CHILDRUN!!
ActionFearo 39
It creates a nice contrast to the typically anti climatic ending.
dvs01 0
Wash yourself
Boytrouble101 0
:O. That is terrible!
heypeoplezzz 0
Your life isn't ruined just because someone say you don't smell nice. They might mean you smell prefectly fine but not 'nice'.
epichamsandwich 0
Haha that's really funny
iplaylax 0
exactly. why is everyone calling him a dick? maybe people here just cant take a joke
gbaby2454 0
I woulda punched him in the face and left
thatguy888 0
she's a bi because she said sex for the first time with a guy, not just sex for the first time.
dopebaby420 0
what an asshole. stay on the other team.