Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said, "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
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Top comments
Hannah_fml 0
Harsh for the first time, but I wish I could think up comebacks that fast. Mine always come like 30 seconds later, which, is not really a long time, but it is to have a 30 second break in a conversation.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
THINK OF DE CHILDRUN!!
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Comments (35)
hellokittywhore 0
at least he didn't say you taste bad. THAT would be a better FML. plus everyone getts sweaty during sex. if it's good sex. :D
ferrettamer 6
42 that doesn't mean she is bi...
truehitman2010 0
well you do have cum on/in you
becsadoodle 0
that's a shame to have ur first sex with a guy who called u smelly u should have better sex
jacetopia96 1
thats what I was thinking.
jdawg2010 0
at times like this, it'd be appropriate to say, "and you sir, are a douche."
axgirl89 5
Did he know it was your 1st time with a guy? If so, he may have been attempting, and failing, to keep things from being awkward afterward by joking around with you...
wildfiresgirl 7
Ahahaha! XD I totally agree #15!
ChocolateDrop85 0
Yea always shower before sex....i cannot hve sex if i didnt just get out the shower
nubton246 4
First time with a guy? Were the girls nicer?