Today, my date took nearly 10 minutes to get an erection, had to be shown where the entrance to my vagina was, since he kept missing it and poking me in the thigh, he orgasmed after only 3 thrusts, fell asleep straight away, then an hour later had the nerve to ask if I’d had fun too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, after talking to a guy for a month, he finally came over and I totally thought sex with him was going to be amazing. Unfortunately, I did all the work and I didn’t even cum, but he did, then he had the nerves to ask me how it was. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, for our third date, we watched a romantic movie at my house. The sex scene got me all hot and bothered, so I started holding his hand, massaging his thigh, and even fondling his dick, but when I turned to pounce on him right then and there, the bastard was asleep from boredom. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
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Top comments
TCRII 30
Sounds like you deflowered him.
MellyPatrelli 9
Not always. He could have been really nervous if it was his first time
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Comments (23)
TCRII 30
Sounds like you deflowered him.
PhoenixChick 26
The part that seems off is taking awhile to get an erection. Isn't the general rule that more inexperienced dudes are more, ahem, eager? Unless we're talking a senior citizen virgin.
MellyPatrelli 9
Not always. He could have been really nervous if it was his first time
Hempseed 27
You say that as though you believe that men have any sort of control over whether or not their dick gets hard.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
You were responsible for an amazing night, be proud of that. Look at the positive side of it.
Guy Oakley 8
Should have taken matters into your own hands then said I did now😂
RichardPencil 32
He’s probably gay and too polite to reject you.
Shah Rozz 5
Well tbrh I think you should have told him that he doesn't like did it the right way. How would you have fun.
Charlie Given 28
Well he's probably was a virgin or really inexperienced don't hold it against him he could be a great guy who just needs practice 😉
mekiswrite 21
You were still there an hour later?
alycion 39
Maybe it was OP’s place.
Sady_Ct 38
Maybe he has a malfunction issue and as such has a lack of experience. Either way FHL too.
jbuckets_404 39
You let him fall asleep after THREE thrusts?! I (were I a woman) would've slapped his silly ass awake and told him to start learning here & now how to give satisfying oral & fingering.... Did it take him 10 mins to get hard (again) after putting on the condom?
AmbrosiaFan 19
"my date".. so you had sex with someone you barely know. sigh...