Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, I'd had it with my mom's addiction to weed, so I told her to choose between me or the weed. I'm currently looking on Craigslist for an apartment. FML
Today, I told my parents that I'm a smoker. My mother started crying, and said she worried I was gay, but this is almost as bad. That lead on to part two of my confession. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
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Top comments
senior_dingdong 0
and thats why you NEVER ASSUME damn teens today just give her a joint and tell her to calm the hell down
mtt9 0
nice neighbourhood.
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Comments (238)
orlandogirl4life 11
ydi for smoking
Nother_Username 0
There is nothing wrong with smoking pot.
xScoutx 0
Smoking pot can cause lung cancer. It also destroys your brain tissue, causes memory loss, loss of concentration, and has negative affects since it has THC which is an acid. So, you deserved it for smoking weed. Have fun getting stupider.
StealthStorm67 0
I'm not even going to begin to start with you're argument. In all truthfulness, I think I'm getting "STUPIDER" just listening to you. Hypocritical bastard. But for the record, just because pot has THC in it, which Acid also has, means it has the same effect? Believe me, most pot-smokers wouldn't touch Acid, or any other drug. Stop with the Guilt By Association. And Really? Loss of concentration? Thats the symptom for about 500 other conditions and syndromes. Like sleep-deprivation? Can you get something a little more serious to throw at us next time? The positive effects? It is a mood-upper, no matter how you feel, after you smoke, you'll feel happy. It helps with conditions such as Glaucoma and Cataracts. You're an idiot.
aliee_a 0
@ 166, How is he a hypocrite? It's not as if he's saying, oh weed is bad, but cocaine is amazing. Next time, look up the word in the dictionary before using it.
StealthStorm67 0
For insinuating that smoking weed will make you more stupid. But not knowing that "stupider" isn't a word. THATS why she's a hypocrite. She's probably ******* dumber than the majority of pot-smokers out there. It doesn't make you retarded. Contrary to popular belief on here.
Nother_Username 0
Sorry wrong post
Nother_Username 0
No it can't Thc kills cancerous cells
Honda288 2
Uhhh ur screwed
bridget_909 0
hahahaha , this sucks so badly for you. why don't you just tell her your just kidding or something!
Scary8 0
Never assume they are talking about your stuff and never confess unless there is hard evidence! Kids these days, damn.
Heathersaur 0
Aww, now don't let all these anti-pot heads ruins your good spirits :( (if you have one...just sayin' >.> .>) I mean seriously, if you like weed, then great. If you don't like weed, then stfu no one gives a **** about your opinion. Freedom of speach? Yeah...But still. NO ONE CARES.
Dontbeapussy 0
That's what you get you drugy prick
acksel_rows 0
this is when you graduate from seventh grade and do coke.
Nother_Username 0
Only Daniel Tosh is alowed to say that
fuckmedead 0
haha u could of just said "i'm kidding mom" or cover up with some form of comment... **** thats funny
ibaneziceman 0
I've had a lot of good times smoking weed, but really, I never got anywhere in life doing it. I don't see why everyone who smokes it on a regular day to day basis insists on rambling a bunch of stupid facts about it. I mean really... you pay like $10 to be high for a couple of hours then you spend money on food and then you just sit around for a couple of more hours or sleep. It's just a waste of life. BUT... I believe a person has the right to do whatever they please as long as they don't hurt others. So smoke away.
onceupop 0
"I've had a lot of good times smoking weed" You just partly answered your own question: "why everyone who smokes it on a regular day to day basis insists on rambling a bunch of stupid facts about it." If you have a good time with it, why is it still illegal? It's alot less damaging then alcohol (which works on the same part of the brain as heroin)and which is legal, but still most of the people seem to think that if you ever came near to a blunt your life is ******. And that's why those people (and me, but I don't smoke on a daily basis) keep on rambling a bunch of "stupid" facts about it.
wi_party_boy 0
I agree. I only smoke cannabis every now and then, because i have ADHD, and weed helps me stay relaxed. It really should be legalized, because alcohol and tobacco are a lot worse. And, while it does make you feel paranoid, there are basically no long-term effects. Someone mentioned something about memory loss, but i have always had a fantastic memory and have not felt it slipping because of smoking weed. I, however, do disagree with people who smoke it every day, for example during class, and eventually dropping out of school. However, if you do it casually, as i have, it has benefits. I am in various AP classes and have a high GPA, and a 31 on my ACT, and well on my way to go to a good college. I am just sick of the people making propaganda about this beautiful herb.
PlasmaFox 0
Marijuana is illegal. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad - it's illegal. It is against the law to smoke it, and by smoking it, you are breaking the law. YDI for breaking the law.
StealthStorm67 0
No shit sherlock. Like you've never done anything illegal in your life. Don't be so uptight for Christ's sake. You could probably shove a lump of coal up your ass and it two weeks you'd shit out a diamond.