Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I heard for the nth time (I lost count after 100) how my roommate and her boyfriend plan to have kids (yes, plural) because we’re "BFF family", and "family babysits for free." She’s actively trying to get pregnant, but wants to continue smoking and drinking like a fish. FML
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter had to find pictures of animals that she felt represented each member of her family. This was the one she chose for me. I think she might be trying to imply something. FML
Today, my daughter asked me if we could make sticker art. Of course I said it was OK so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, I found out that the last of my super feminist "I'm never getting tied to a man" college friends got engaged. Apparently, I should have tried that tactic, as my current partner in life is my goldfish. FML
Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fish. My coworker named them what I thought were completely random names. I said, "Those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kids' names. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML
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Top comments
Lucia_Malpense 14
I wonder what sort of stupid things she said, if that's the most intelligent.
zingline89 18
Its probly basst you leave this one alone. I suppose you cod confront her, but I say you should let her off the hook. No need to make her feel gilty for being stupid. Walleye youre at it, aplogize for making fin of her earlier today.
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Comments (34)
j_cat187 20
Awww, but stupid people make the world a better place. Could you imagine how boring life would be without them?
Mifflicious 18
Goldfish prefer to live in pairs or more, they shouldn't be kept alone. But not many cares to even read a little about the fish before getting one, stupid idiots. Hopefully she hasn't got it in a "goldfish bowl"!
13ky13 20
Stupid idiots, the worst kind.
taylorluvsbieber 2
kk i have one goldfish in a bowl. what is like the right way? and how many are you suspose to have?
Mifflicious 18
At least two, they like company. And they need minimum 50 litres per fish, but for one fish about 100 litres is fine. They can grow really big!
Mifflicious 18
You're not the one owning a fish, so what has YOUR lack of interest in caring for one to do with anything in this discussion?
caysters 12
Boyfriend and I want the zombie ones we've found at Spencer's. of course, it would only be him, me, and our dog and cat... But hey, that's our family.
neilykins 29
I've seen Star Wars ones, I thought they were quite cool. Even had Chewbacca.
lysx84 24
I'd say this was quirky. It's her car, she can stick whatever she wants to it. Sounds like op needs to learn to accept people for who they are rather than judge them by their IQ.
DjeePee 25
God, OP, you really sound like a nice, non-judgemental person. If she wants a sticker of her and mister Bubbles, why be an ass about it? I think it's funny. So funny that I want to do the same, but with hamster-stickers. Lots and lots of hamster-stickers.
sonnyrosa 32
Those things are supposed to be cheeky and dorky, why should you judge her for it? It shows that she has a sense of humor, and that she loves her pets! Since it's her car, I don't really think you have a say at all.
SApprentice 34
I don't like how judgemental you are being towards her about something that in no way impacts you. It's her car. It's her fish. At least she has a fish to love, and who might even have the capacity to appreciate her in some sense. If the fish gives her companionship, why criticize her for it? Obviously you're not offering any friendship to her, so let the woman be content.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Who cares if she wanna do that? At least it's original. Maybe she is just lonely. She might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer according to you but I don't see how this is impacting your life. Don't you have "smart" friends to hang out with? If that's the worse thing she's done this week, you should count your blessings. We hear enough bad stories about awful roommates.
Enslaved 38
It amazes me some of the bumper stickers people will put on their cars. Last week, I saw an "I love (in heart form) bacon" on a Cameo! Seemed criminal.:P
tmmundy 17
25...is that a car or an undershirt?
leadawg75 12
37, your thinking of a "cami", which is a type f tank top/undershirt.
evilplatypus 39
I thought it was supposed to say "Camaro" and they got attacked by autocorrect.
somecoolperson1 2
It's kind of cute though...