Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
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Top comments
ohheykiwi 2
You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.
arsenalfcboy 6
FYL for living in a country with no National health care
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Comments (292)
Roseballs 2
@233 that is not a good reason to love Canada. with your " health care" as you call it you will have to wait to receive any medical attention. now do you know how many people die each year in Canada and other places that have socialized health care? do sone research there's a bunch. come in guys I am in high school and even I can figure this out.
ryguy997 0
super glue? you retard.
carsonc13 0
may I say retard?!?! let's go get infected!!
Nadjahhh 0
nice way to get infected dumb ass
imanethesmart 0
and that's why recycling is bad!!
tbonea1990 0
plumbers primer is the best solution I have had cuts as bad and worse than that andvit helps fast
DjeePee 25
You did WHAT with SUPERGLUE??
xchapperzx 0
free healthcare in england ftw.
niknik2014 1
ummm that's probably not to good maybe a needle a thread would have been better or the er they don't charge at that exact moment and u can get charity care they will pay most of it...
SadinSherman 16
Why would you use superglue instead of anything else?