Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to "be a man and deal with it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a side effect of my new medicine is uncontrollable itching. To “help”, my boyfriend gave me itching powder. When I got mad, he claimed he thought itching powder was used to combat itching. What? FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML
Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML
Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML
Today, I was chatting to a girl in the chemist's and was about to ask her to go for coffee when the chemist came out of the back room and asked me loudly if the rash was only on my genitals or if it had spread further. FYI the chemist is my uncle and he was joking. I didn’t end up asking her out. FML
Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML
Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML
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Top comments
trinity1982 0
DON'T push objects down inside a cast to scratch an itchy spot. This activity has a high risk of damaging the skin, a blistered area or a surgical wound and causing an infection.
redskinsmom 0
use a ruler
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Comments (130)
redskinsmom 0
use a ruler
xoconnie 8
wow. she would say that. tell on her! be a tattle tale and tell the manager(: mwahaha that'll teach her not to be a smart ass anymore!!!
idkweird 0
Again, NO! Plastic rulers can break and get stuck in there, and metal rulers can scratch the skin. Can you imagine what happens to a scratch that's stuck in a dark, sometimes damp area that gets no real air or cleansing? It's like a breeding ground for infections!
myman47 0
u were 8th and very attractive
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
@idkweird - and for people like my creepy uncle...
mumbles05 0
use a wire coat hanger; you can bend it for those hard to reach areas. straighten it then bend it in half; use the rounded end only. if you scrap or cut yourself under the cast your gonna have a whole new problem(infection)
idkweird 0
#42: Smartest idea so far! BSR, that's hawt! Can I have his number? ;)
Philosophic 0
Pussy.
schnitzel5 0
he bravely ran away, oh brave sir robin!
schnitzel5 0
use a machette duh
DavidCooksAngel 0
what a bitch! I broke my foot, had a cast lost a pencil in there . lol just becareful if u use a ruler or anything. GL
droppoint 0
it took me a few minutes to realize what he meant by "cast". I initially thought it was slang for something much more gross. the comments didn't help.
SLKBlack96 5
that means it's healing
bhangu023 0
becca, ur one sexy lady:)
DavidCooksAngel 0
thank you <3
relyo 0
That unbearable itching? That's your body punishing you for injuring it. YDI
Yee12 0
YDI for breaking your arm
chromeLegend 0
It should have ended with: "I'm a woman."
psyco5000 0
use a spoon or fork, or try the handle end of it.
Abaastart 0
Today, a sweaty, creepy guy came into the pharmacy where I work and asked me to scratch him under his cast. FML
josiej0j0 0
when i had a cast, I used the handle on a flyswatter. it worked!
bubdud 0
first
TheRipper_fml 0
idiot.
Horney4her69 0
tell her to be a woman
lexie206 0
sounds like 42 has had the same problem as the OP lol
boopityboppity 11
^Haha! Too true!
eat_this_buddie 5
haha that sucks. use benedryl cream.
eat_this_buddie 5
ah you're right >.< well I guess his life is f-ed. haha
bidoof_fml 0
Those super long Q-tips that doctors use would do the trick!
harryman04 0
CHOPSTICKS
UberFail79 0
I find slamming the cast repeatedly on the edge of a table works quite well. Try it!
jbuckets_404 39
UberFail79: As long as it's not YOUR cast that's being banged on the table, right? ;-)
rstroupe 0
u got dissed by a pharmacist
knockasauras 0
What you all don't know is, the cast is on his PENIS. hehehehahahahohoho
missvee98324 0
win.
Zills 0
he said he broke his arm.
shamille 5
in that case, he should get both the pharmacist AND his doctor fired
me5 0
good advice!!
allen2020 0
whats a cast?
karollessthan3 0
...
awkwardkayy 0
are you serious? jeez and I had a cast after surgery last year and I scratched it with whatever I could find but I ripped my stiches open.... not fun
MightyMike2509 0
man up son.... man up
F_ur_life_douche 0
nut up or shut up
Becca_Blaise 0
**** I was 9th
Anchavez2 0
nicee..
ghostwitch1863 0
wow that was sort of rude
Jewelofagal 2
Straighten out a wire clothes hanger. It's the perfect size to slip under the cast to scratch your itches.
dtbomb 3
so true :)
trinity1982 0
Unbearable itchiness may be a sign that the cast is too tight in a certain area and should be discussed with your OS. In general anything unbearable means that the situation is unusual because most other people are able to bear it
idkweird 0
Are you joking? Do you know how many people shove rulers or anything they think will fit down into their casts to try and scratch? Also, sometimes those objects get stuck in the cast and can cause infections. We get that ALL THE TIME. That, and people who remove their casts because they couldn't stand it anymore. Anyone who has ever worked in an Ortho department can tell you stories. The unbearable itching is common to anyone who has to have a cast for a long time. It comes from not being able to clean the area and remove the dead skin for WEEKS.