Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to "be a man and deal with it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a side effect of my new medicine is uncontrollable itching. To “help”, my boyfriend gave me itching powder. When I got mad, he claimed he thought itching powder was used to combat itching. What? FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML
Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML
Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML
Today, I was chatting to a girl in the chemist's and was about to ask her to go for coffee when the chemist came out of the back room and asked me loudly if the rash was only on my genitals or if it had spread further. FYI the chemist is my uncle and he was joking. I didn’t end up asking her out. FML
Today, it was my first day working as a pharmacist. I quickly discovered that customers not only think that it makes me qualified to offer free medical advice, but they also have no qualms about showing me their various lumps, bumps, and vaginal leakages. FML
Today, I finally forced my husband to go to the doctor's for his chronically itchy arsehole, which he scratches in his sleep, and ends up bleeding all over the sheets. Turns out it’s a fungal infection. Now he has to apply a cream twice a day, which isn’t fun to watch when he does it in the bedroom. FML
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Top comments
trinity1982 0
DON'T push objects down inside a cast to scratch an itchy spot. This activity has a high risk of damaging the skin, a blistered area or a surgical wound and causing an infection.
redskinsmom 0
use a ruler
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Comments (130)
bigpapi210 0
she's probably a lesbian OP, dont sweat a butch lol
youthink_fml 0
What did you expect?
makc5point3vtec 0
jump over the counter amd pull out your dick, then say "is this man enough for u biatch?!"
zach5432 3
win
fournineteen 0
That is German health care for you.
skyeyez9 25
Undo a wire coat hanger. its long enough to reach inside the cast. But only practical to use at home. Or one of those retractable magnetic things that are used to hold screws.
paigeatsflesh 11
you should **** her. (:
JustMyLuck_huh 0
that solves EVERYTHING =D
paigeatsflesh 11
I know right?! :D
SCARYMUSIC 0
how can he f her with a cast over his dick
SCARYMUSIC 0
did you just agree with yourself?
MermaidSongXOXO 6
No respectable pharmacist would do that, and I highly doubt they're allowed to. The fact that you mentioned she was attractive and you didn't provide an actual quote gives me the impression that you hit on her. Oh well. Guess that's what happens when your pickup line's about an itch on the dirty, smelly inside of your cast. You should've stuck with a classic: "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
MermaidSongXOXO 6
P.S. *serious comment* Try bending the handle of a wire hanger straight to relieve the itch.
xundria 5
^ That is an epic pickup line.
I_am_stupid_also 6
What? Any pickup line about hangers and relieving an itch is likely to get you a drink in the face.
afatmonkey 0
f your ass? no thank you.
californiway 0
sexy **** at the top
Anteezy 7
She is right though.