Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim, and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier, I realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go, "Don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was, "God forbid a maxed-out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
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Top comments
Tarak_fml 7
Just explain. Not that big a deal
dsrs3777 0
Everyone saying YDI for not using condoms is a moron. Obviously you use condoms when having sex with someone if you're not sure it would be safe, but with your fiance? if she's on the pill no point, pill is way more effective than condoms as a contraceptive, and you had better know by then whether or not your partner has diseased. So what I'm trying to say is stupid people who don't understand sex STFU
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Comments (198)
fourzerofour 0
I don't see why you DON'T use condoms... and shouldn't your friend own up and be like "sorry, he was getting those for me cause I'm a pussy...". If your significant other trusts you like they should, then there should be no problem.
xheathaax 3
I don't see why you or everyone cares of he uses them or not. Maybe they want a baby. So you know when all you guys want kids make sure you put a condom on. don't want you all to be hypocrites since you guys are so ready to judge them.
RKftw 0
tell your friend if he cant buy his own condoms, he wont have anything to put them on
Blisted 0
could you not explain why you're buying them?
ccc01 1
She's a keeper.
septor82 0
you should tell her well go choke on one bitch
glitterbabe224 0
if hes not man enough to buy sone condoms, then he sure as he'll isn't man enoughto have sex. plus, just explain it to her.
fuzzywazzy012 0
Why dont u use condoms... Std's...
Stand_Up 0
That's what explaintions are for <3
luna4545 4
only if u don't want kids right now. condoms are just birth control
surfhawaii 0
at least its easily explained