Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said, "Yeah, horizontally." FML
Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
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Top comments
allie2590 31
Well, breast is best.
AcieMcG 21
I better breast feed then, I don't want Hobbits
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Comments (62)
mountainguy 7
more like legen-dairy.
wickedalwayswins 7
You sir, deserve to be rid of the slap bet!
Taolan 23
I fail to see the problem with natural feeding. What's the FML here? You were feeding until 2? So? When to stop breast feeding is an individual thing. There are mothers who feed until three or four years, there's no ill effect.
ckerane 16
your mum is hilarious :)
LeahSkye 1
Finally!!! My mom says crap like this all the time! You're not alone!
caro1ina48 13
How is this embarrassing? It's something natural. No clue why society is so afraid of breastfeeding. My wife is currently breastfeeding our 6 month old son and will continue to do so for as long as he takes it. I'm also proud of how she does it without fear in public and without covering up. It's natural and the best thing for the baby!!! Grow up op
cryssycakesx3 23
did you see the airline that told the lady to cover up or stop? I don't understand the big deal. usually she has one boob out and the baby is covering it. they act like when a lady breast feeds she's topless with her boobs hanging out, swinging them around.
caro1ina48 13
Yeah I saw that. I thought that was ridiculous. My wife breast feeds all the time in public and do you know how much you can see... Nothing a baby is covering it all.
elixaaaaa 13
Good for her!! Sucks that she yelled it in public. When you/your wife go through breastfeeding you'll get it
devildog3766 3
Didn't work so well for that kid on Game of Thrones!!
TwoXMike 14
Gotta ask, are you an American living in Australia? If not your spelling mum wrong
elixaaaaa 13
*you're
itsjusttofunny 8
instead of being embarrassed, be proud that your mother loved you that much.
boostedc 24
I actually chose YLS, then I clicked on YDI, then I realized none of them applies. I'm agreed with breast feeding being a natural human/animal=human act. The more you're fitted this way, the less risk of contamination you have. Cows milk is made for the young bulls. So no shame or regret mate.