Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said, "Yeah, horizontally." FML
Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
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Top comments
allie2590 31
Well, breast is best.
AcieMcG 21
I better breast feed then, I don't want Hobbits
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Comments (62)
awilliams44 9
that's a long time
skyeyez9 25
"Happily scampered to my side" was a funny way to describe it! Like a little forrest animal. Awesome
idioticmess 15
i can feel you humillation all the way over here. im very sorry.
RANDALL4801 11
by what i heard, my brother (whom i never met cause of brain cancer) also had 2 years of breast milk
False_Stupidity 42
Well, they say that mothers know breast.
mikelangele 15
ha ha sorry all bull. just 5 weeks on breast milk and I'm 5'11 and a girl. also she's Legen...wait for it...Dairy. (ha ha saw it earlier and thought this makes it even funnier :))
wickedalwayswins 7
Looks like her pride got to the breast of her.
wickedalwayswins 7
I guess you got the breast of both "girls"
molliciousj 19
Why would you be ashamed? Now everyone knows that you know your way around a nipple. ;)
ekslu89 12
That is embarrassing