Shudder
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said, "Yeah, horizontally." FML
Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
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Top comments
allie2590 31
Well, breast is best.
AcieMcG 21
I better breast feed then, I don't want Hobbits
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Comments (62)
angelitared 27
Boobie milk has the best nutrition!
NotSoScarred 2
At least you know you're healthy!
ber4fun13 10
Wow, first time I've seen an FML with 0 YDI's (as of right now). Parents are pros at embarrassing their kids OP, try not to take it too hard.
zaise_chsa 19
Sounds like it wasn't the breast situation for you.
elmatador615 12
Maybe that's why I'm taller than everyone else too, my mom is 5'2" and my dad is 5'5" and I'm 6'0"
Dillyduzit 23
Awh, your mom sounds adorable. she's proud of you and herself for how you turned out. I feel like this would be more of an FML if it were one of YOUR friends you had been talking to, but her friends isn't so bad. Lighten up a bit :)
maggiefox 25
Tall boys are the most attractive! Be happy :)
AFCCT 7
Tell that to Zdeno Chara
cryssycakesx3 23
I love how tall that man is. I enjoyed the photo of him with the 4'11 iceskater
marcranger 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Damn, OP. Considering the recent OSU study showing that breast milk is statistically no better than formula for children's development, you just got publicly humiliated for nothing. Might I suggest joining the mob and witnessing a hit so you can tattle to the FBI and join the Witness Protection Program? That way, you'll get to change your name and move to a new town for free!
sonictardis 8
Breastmilk is and has always been better than formula. formula is full of chemicals. Try reading the ingredients list on a container of formula.
marcranger 29
Everything is full of chemicals! Water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen. :p But feel free to do some research of your own. You can Google Dr. Cynthia Colen (author of the OSU study) as well as Hanna Rosin and Jessica Valenti, who have written about the extensive reviews of medical literature showing that there's no statistically significant difference between kids who were breast vs. formula fed. What seems to have the actual impact on kids' development is the parents' income, education levels, and level of involvement with their kids. Traditionally, parents who have higher levels of these qualities are the ones able to devote the time necessary to breastfeeding, which is the real reason so many studies have shown a link between it and healthier children. I will concede, based on my limited experience on the actual day-to-day reality of dealing with an infant (don't have kids, don't like them, don't want them), that breastfeeding is cheaper and more straightforward. But medically speaking, there's no reason to push it over formula.
cryssycakesx3 23
ah. I hadn't realized tall people came from more affluent backgrounds..
toomanyidiots 14
@47, read closely... that is NOT what #45 was saying. Healthier children (height =/= health) are statistically more likely to come from families who are not necessarily "affluent," as you put it, but have FEWER financial stresses, ex. not living paycheck-to-paycheck or deeply in debt. Why? Families with higher incomes might able to spend more resources (including time and money) on their kids than families with lower incomes. Higher income =/= filthy rich. "Higher income" can just mean lower-middle class. And this doesn't have to do with height, but with health in general. (You know... like being able to pay for medical care, or not even being able to afford basic insurance.)
toomanyidiots 14
@28, would you consider studying biochemistry?
kittcatt 8
Perhaps in first world countries. However in countries where you can not get clean water to make the formula or sterilize bottles breast really is best for the child because it prevents catching waterborne illnesses. Breast milk is beneficial for both the child and the mother, it forms and strengthens the child's immune system, creates a bond between mother and child, and also reduces the mother's risk of developing breast cancer. The World Health Organization suggests breast feeding for up to 2 years or beyond with real food as supplement and exclusive breast feeding for the first six months of life.
AshesNicole623 17
ONE article vs hundreds. Hmm... Until the majority of studies start saying man made is better than natural, breast is still best.
toomanyidiots 14
@63, [Citation Needed] Where's your journal article and citation? No articles were linked here. Additionally, hundreds (if not thousands) of articles, particularly in the area of economics of poverty, show that health is highly correlated with family income, family background, family size, even education level. And you're trying to say that breast milk is responsible, but not these factors? Really?
toomanyidiots 14
@60, here's a quote from an article for you, which might explain what could be more common in such underdeveloped countries: 'When Dr. Jackson questioned the woman, who had 10 other children, he discovered that she had never breast-fed her two youngest. Their diets since birth had been infant formula. Because the family income averaged only $7 a week, the mother had to heavily dilute the expensive formula to make it last longer. ''For the 4-month-old baby,'' Dr. Jackson later told Senator Edward M. Kennedy's Subcommittee on Health and Scientific Research, ''one tin of feed should have lasted for something just under three days. She said that one tin of feed lasted two weeks to feed both of the children."' Splitting 1 tin of formula between two kids... for two weeks. She should have been giving EACH kid more than FOUR tins every two weeks. She should have used about nine tins -- as opposed to 1 -- every 2 weeks. Feeding your kid something so diluted that it's practically water isn't actually feeding your kid...
cryssycakesx3 23
sarcasm, bro.
cryssycakesx3 23
I was keeping on topic with the FML. as the OC said there is no difference and then Mr ranger said it's because they have more money. using a little. deductive reasoning, I made a small joke. but you sure showed me. you're clearly smarter.
Rily1029 0
That study only looked at what they called "long term" affects of BF on children ages 4-14 who had been BF & FF as infants. Study author states that breastfeeding is still beneficial over formula for infants and toddlers it may be that it just doesn't have the long term results we once thought.
LumpLegacy 15
breast milk and veggies. that's the thing of super heroes my friends
jcurry25 6
It has been proven though that the longer one is on breast milk the better chance they have of better health and higher IQs, so good job for your mom
marcranger 29
As I mentioned in a long winded fashion above, that's been shown to be about parental income, education, and involvement, all of which correlate with breastfeeding. But correlation does not equal causation!
AlaskanG 27
42, different people doing studies on the same subject can come up with different outcomes. Just because you saw a study that says one thing, doesn't automatically make it 100% accurate.
toomanyidiots 14
@56, that should be directed at #27 as well, shouldn't it?
cryssycakesx3 23
^^ but I think it's different when what #27 said is from the majority of the studies.