Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
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Top comments
banana2022 4
You didn't think to show her by peeing in a big kids' toilet? YDI for that genius idea.
outofmyelement 0
eww, you used a toddler potty? you couldnt just use a toilet?
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Comments (125)
lovelykendra5 0
Doubt it
Honda288 2
JP you are a total ass hole
missmarley93 1
omg hahahahhaahahahahaha that made me crack up!! awww! haha fyl!
gigg_squad 0
what's YDI mean?
Dragonmouth 4
"You deserved it."
blondegirl_fml 0
I'm at the potty training phase with my daughter and the hole in her potty seat isn't big enough for adult butts. So how did you actually pee in her potty? Don't know about other potties but my daughters looks like it will hold 4 cups of pee and you peed enough to overflow it?
Puolukka 4
She wouldn't have to actually SIT on it to pee in it -_- and I'm assuming the opening is big enough for a stream of urine to fit... :P Doing it still sounds like a dumbass idea though!
cani_fml 0
ewww!! shouldnt this be written by your kid? "today my mom made me watch her pee. one day i'll grow up & have to see a shrink cos of this memory.. FML"
RideOorDiee 0
Ahaha you funny!! My niece get in trouble if she go in her pull up!!! Put fear into her heart!!! Now my niece be runnin around saying potty when she gotta fart just to be sure!!!!! Ahaha
vita_questa_roba 0
What the hell is a long pee. Seriously youre just weird
N00d13s 0
you need to learn how to control it. I can stop mid-stream long enough to walk at least 10 feet.
Bozomatt 2
congratulations!
Karraxo 0
lmfao. same here. also, is YDI mean you dumb idiot? Lol. seriously though.
DannyBoii12 0
no it means You Deserved It
chipmunk95 0
god damn lady whats wrong with you
JukeboxBunny 0
Hahaha this is great!