Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Assumptions
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Everything is clean
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Rules are rules
Today, at work, a man bought a lot of really expensive stuff. He paid the large bill with cash, and the manager helped me count the money. When we were done, he handed me a $100 bill to thank me for all the help. We can't accept tips. The manager was next to me. I had to say no. FML
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Staircase wit at the checkout
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Presumption
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Pervy perv walks
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Nice try
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "I'm good" or, "I'm okay", I said, "I'm gay". FML
Top comments
baygirl564 9
Well u did ask...
guitarbeast 22
Wow, harsh…
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Comments (248)
yesmanddd 4
iyf. Well if you're ugly you're ugly.
Damn_Hippster 11
So you want to look like a *****?
enonymous 9
Pretty people are hookers... Life lessons every day. I can't wait to buy a date from a few male nurses at my ER
LiveLaughFML 10
if there is a bright side to this situation, try and look into it. maybe he meant that you look like someone who has a lot of class and would never think of stripping? :-)
Keyman1212 14
I don't ******* understand any of y'all.
McAninch35 9
The purpose of your comment is what, 30?
SCREAM4meeee 0
39- that he doesn't understand any of 'y'all'
enonymous 9
39 - to use y'all with that Texas twang
IrishWildMan 3
I pictured the guy having a feminine accent. Anyone? No? Well......**** me.
TitaniaSilk 4
Well if you're a douche, you're a douche.
Meowingtons500 18
Don't get your chaps in a bunch "ya'll" "it's the Internet folks."
BlacOpsMaximus 5
what if its got nothing to do with her being ugly what if she's fat,, or what if she's like skinny as a stick with no voluptuous curves? Ehh,, look at me thinking outside the box ;P
EvilPotato 15
1 I agree but to say it so harshly, that's just mean.
Boygenius50 8
Hey, I think Keyman's comments are probably above the comprehension of the average Texan, so clearly he's doing something right.
fatgirllovesfml 0
I smell a redneck!!
Boygenius50 8
98-Your use of the word "goodly" doesn't help the cause.
Llama_Face89 34
GOODLY?! Please...for the sake of the entire human race...tell me that was a joke....
FarSide 23
Well OP, you opened the door for that one.
EvilPotato 15
I don't ******* understand why "y'all" don't think "goodly" isn't a word, I've been taught on my grandpappys farm down in good old Texas that "goodly" is a king among words. *Snorts like an idiot*....To far?
Boygenius50 8
Haha I actually thought it might be a joke, I guess we'll have to wait til they come back to know for sure...
sierralovesyou 0
30- nothing to do with the comment/fml, but did you get a new picture? Jw
Imgonnahaveabf 9
OP should take that as a compliment. Most strippers are ugly AF with STD's.
gibby1235 6
To people making jokes about texans - not cool peoples To people from Texas - it's a joke, this is fml, it was made to have fun on. You and I know that most assumptions people make about Texas are false. Let's leave it at that and move on. And to op - don't let it get to you I'm pretty sure your beautiful in your own way.
Boygenius50 8
149- *You're Stupid Texan. Go fall off of the upper deck.
Xo_CuPcAkLuVa_oX 6
Wow, aren't we all a little bit pathedic? Seriously stick to talking about the FML and stop talking shit.
guitarbeast 22
Wow, harsh…
youcunthole 0
Well he works at a grocery store so now who wins
GRRSOM 7
Harsh, yes. But I'm not sure if it'd been any better to be confused as a stripper. Your body may be repulsive, but at least no one believes your trashy.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#20 I work at a grocery store, but it doesn't mean that I'm a loser or anything. The checker mentioned in the FML is a loser because he sounds like a jerk.
youcunthole 0
Well age also plays a roll in it.. If he's like 16-20 then that's alright, but if hes like 40 then that's kinda loser-ish
nerdsgetmehot 23
#76 :/ Seriously? I don't think that's loser-ish at all. If people didn't occupy the "little" jobs like working at a grocery store, we wouldn't have grocery stores. I'm 22 and I'm a checker.
youcunthole 0
Is that really what you want to do all your life? No one wants to be a cashier all their life, they just never get a college degree or anything
ImaginaryFoe 1
Seriously? What a shitty worldview. Not everyone believes they need to be defined by the job they have. Many people I know have jobs that just pay the bills. Markets tend to have long hours so my friend, who's a brilliant artist, works at one when she doesn't have showings to work up for or so she can save up for travelling or touring with her bf.
faithxoxox 1
My mother has a degree, and she's the manager of KFC. That doesn't mean that's all she wants to do with her life, and being a checker isn't "loser-ish".
Boygenius50 8
All cunthole means is that it's kind of depressing to see someone spend their entire life working in a boring and repetitive job, one that isn't really going anywhere and has almost no prestige associated with it. while this satisfies some people, and such people can be just as happy or more happy than a doctor/lawyer/athlete/astronaut, cunthole clearly is not among such people.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#83 Uh, dude? Did I ever say that was all I wanted to do with my life? I went to school and got a baking degree. Now I'm going back to school to get a bachelor's degree to have a second option. I currently have 2 jobs to support myself and pay for school. Besides, there's nothing pathetic about being a cashier.
FarSide 23
EVERYONE is needed. EVERY worker contributes.
truebrotrue 7
Op should've counted really slowly, pay as much as she could have in coins, and paid in exact change
unhappybitch 8
Nerdsgetmehot I remember you from that flat chested FML :) you are so hot though :)
youcunthole 0
Well 110 it can't be all that great considering u tried to post 117 fmls
Boygenius50 8
I believe 147 just KO'd the opposition
MrBoredGuy 1
He was just saying OP looked too classy to be a stripper
Cmdr_Shepard 17
*puts on white knight armor* LEAVE NERDSGETMEHOT ALONE But seriously, it's pretty presumptuous to assume that people who work at grocery stores are failures in life. Especially where I live, the vast majority of checkers are either teenagers or women who don't solely depend on their job for their income. Btw, nerdsgetmehot, I'm a huge nerd and I'm only a week older than you. Does that make you hot? :) *takes off white knight armor*
SlaveToRetail 10
#94, your first sentence rhymed. :D
QueenChristy 6
#76 that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. There's is no such thing as a "age-range" where the term loser is concluded in! It does NOT matter how old the cashier is! That was very disrespectful and un-called for. Age doesn't play a roll in it and its NEVER all right to insult someone
nerdsgetmehot 23
#147 The FMLs I submitted are all just many, many variations of the same 5 or 6 FMLs. You can submit the same FML more than once, y'know? My life is pretty darn awesome, thanks very much.
itsame0987 18
147 - it's even funnier that she says in her profile that it was just a few fmls written seeral different ways. That says to me someone is desparate to make it onto fml. But I agree about the cashier thing. And to answer the question who would do the job, easy high school and college students who need money.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#182 It's because I was unemployed and my parents were just getting divorced when I submitted those FMLs. I wasn't "desperate" to get an FML published, I was just bored and sad about my parents' situation. I already made it onto FML, I got one posted.
Po1ntBlank 0
guys.. arguing on the internet is pointless its like winning the special olympics. ur still retarded
nerdsgetmehot 23
#186 No arguing going on here, at least not on my side.
ihasbrains 10
178 - when somebody is 40 years old and lives in their mother's basement playing video games all day and have absolutely no part in paying the bills, then do you still think they're not a loser? There's no excuse for doing lazy shit like that, ever. Cashier job is different because it's a job that pays, and it's a job that is required by society. In my opinion it's right to insult someone if it's going to make them into a better/more useful person. Some people work better under pressure.
Jovecove 13
I'm still #team nerdsgetmehot
Yodaevil 4
Nope, worked as a "checker" for about 2 months when I was 18. It blows. Now all you do is scan and it beeps? And people 40+ do this? That my friend is sad when you can even get promoted to stock! At 22, you're getting to the point where you should be moving on to a real job. One that makes more than 10 bucks an hour...
ihasbrains 10
213 - very true. I guess some people are losers after all, lol.
ohxdamnxkay02 12
Don't worry OP he only said that because when he looked you up and down, he realized that you are to classy to be a stripper... I think
nerdsgetmehot 23
#213 Are you kidding me? Did I not just state that I'm IN SCHOOL to get a degree? I've also already gone to school to be a baker. I am constantly applying for baking jobs. I'm not a loser, but you certainly are acting like a jerk.
nerdsgetmehot 23
And maybe someone who is a checker at 40 and has no other ambition is indeed sad. It depends on the situation. If they have nothing else in their life, I would be sad for them. However, I'm 22, working my way through school, and I would love to be a baker someday (as that's what I studied for). I have plenty of ambition to work towards something other than being a checker. I apply to as many baking jobs as I can each week. The only reason why I'm still a checker is because I need to for rent, food, gas, etc. I would be a loser if I quit my checker job and couldn't pay for any of those things. I'm doing what it takes to be able to live and support myself. Like I said, I also have a second job, which is customer service and making frosting at a bakery (and helping with baking when the baker needs it), so at least I'm getting my foot in the door to achieving what I want to be. What's sad about working towards an ambition? In my eyes, nothing.
Mr_Alarm 12
Okay, nerdsgetmehot, thank you for telling everyone your life story. It's great that you are a 22 year old with a baking degree who is working on getting a bachelor's degree and is happy being a cashier... ANYWAY, 20 was obviously joking, so all the serious responses are quite unnecessary.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#219 I'm not happy being a cashier; I never said that. I'm actually quite miserable at that job, which is why I'm looking for a baking job and going back to school. I wasn't obvious to me that #20 was joking, as I don't really have a sarcasm detector for text on the internet, but thanks for that little insight. I just find it quite insulting when someone tells me that I'm pathetic because of my job "choice." I'm not a cashier by choice, I'm a cashier by necessity.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I'm sorry for being "too serious" about it, as I do tend to get that way, but assuming that I'm pathetic and have a terrible life just because one of my jobs is being a checker is just rude.
Mr_Alarm 12
Yeah, I can see why it would bother you. But it does look kind of silly when you rant about a comment that wasn't serious at all. Besides, why should you care about the opinion of someone who truly believes that people with jobs that aren't "glamorous" are pathetic? I'm sure you know that most people won't assume that you're pathetic just because you're a cashier, so it's best to just ignore such comments, or assume that they are sarcastic.
Mr_Alarm 12
But I'm sure you know all of that; you were probably just angry when you posted those comments.
Daralea 21
Cunthole already won this a long time ago.
wegetrz 14
You don't need a college degree to be a fast food manager anyways..but who cares what people think about the quality of someone else's job, atleast they are getting paid.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#226 I actually didn't know that most people wouldn't think I'm pathetic for being a cashier. I thought most people would, seeing as how most customers treat me at work. I think the main reason I was so mad at cunthole is because I experience people like that at work every day. I get treated with a lot of disrespect, and it's obviously because I'm in a "low" position. I just get tired of that mindset, you know? It just doesn't seem fair to treat a human being as being "less" than other people because they're working a minimum-wage job.
youcunthole 0
No need to tell your whole freaking life story
Boygenius50 8
230- You seem to be taking all of these comments very personally, even though you're not really the type of person cunthole was talking about. It's sad when you see someone working at a grocery store as a last resort, or doing it their entire life. You obviously have other things going on (as you explained in your autobiography above) so you're not one of those people. So you can stop getting offended now, k?
Racerjas11 0
This could mean that she is too pretty to be a stripper...
youcunthole 0
That's stupid and doesn't make sense
maniaccy 8
OMG @nerdsgetmehot STOP REPLYING TO EVERYTHING
Fitzinator1995 13
I work at a grocery store too!
baygirl564 9
Well u did ask...
margie2194 12
Plus, do you want to look like a stripper? If he said yes, you look like one you'll probably get offended. So either way...
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
He was just being considerate :P
suxs4ulol 22
he was probably scared to say anything or hes shy.
funktown 2
If someone says hell no to a complete stranger, how does that make them shy?
False_Stupidity 42
He was probably trying to be polite, figuring that saying yes would be worse.
ifinsane 6
Yeah NS don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.
youtubetre_fml 14
It sucks ... Are you so ugly??
jbunch2514 0
Nah... You got a pic of what his face gay werewolf! not funny it has no purpose EXPLAIN AND FYL
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
62- are u thinking of Taylor lautner? Bc if u are that's not even close
Hunts160 5
u went to dennison. ur still a ******* asshole
brown4lifejot 1
62- dont rlly know where you got werewolf from but good for you
youtubetre_fml 14
Sorry but I don't have werewolf on my picture -.-"
kleeweirdos 0
Ur a real mean bitch, did u know that?
cheesecakex 5
Guessing that customer service wasn't complimentary
himoonkey 8
I like ur photo lol :p
Alexisthebestest 16
I brought a shirt with my friends in $1 bills (that's all I had) and they cashier asked me if I was a stripped and winked at me. That was 5 years ago... I still haven't heard the end of it.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Cool story bro
brown4lifejot 1
160- dont be a jerk
Alexisthebestest 16
Cool story bro just isn't funny after it's used 1,203,457 times.
ArcadePie 10
Curly headed ****. (Had to be said)
Hockeyboy4280 18
Curls get the girls. Step brothers comment ftw. Haha
nerdsgetmehot 23
What a jackass. Being a checker at a grocery store, I know that comments like that can get an employee in a lot of trouble. I don't make comments like that though, because I'm a nice checker. ;) Sorry, OP! Sometimes you just have to choose not to listen to mean comments like that. As Eleanor Roosevelt (a wise lady) once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
lostintime94 5
You go girl!!
drlove78843 6
Do you live in this world?
nerdsgetmehot 23
#86 and #89 What does that even mean?
crownlogic 25
106, I believe 86 was trying to be a d-bag and put you down for being a decent human being who doesn't put people down and for quoting someone who isn't currently on a reality t.v. show. I think 89 was speaking to 86, as in "No, we don't live in this world"...sarcastically, since you seem 'so outside the norm' for being nice, especially on the internet. 89 can correct me if I'm wrong, I don't really mind what 86 has to say.
sierralovesyou 0
Oh my gosh people, shut up already! I am from the heart of dixie, and there is no grandpappy's farm, goodly isn't a word used on it, we don't snort like idiots, and yes, we use the word Y'ALL quite often. It means you all. Northerners need to shut the **** up, because last time I checked, 'pop' is the stupidest name I have ever heard for a SODA. good grief...
BradenLock 4
Okay, I am sorry, but what IN THE HELL did that have to do with ANYTHING?
too_tiny 5
137- wtf are you talking about. think u need to chill the **** out.
Cmdr_Shepard 17
@6, yeah that cashier was a pretty big douchebag to say "Hell no". Though I did find it funny that the OP joked about him thinking she's a stripper for having a ton of bills. In my experience as a sales associate, women with tons of $1 are always a waitress or a bartender, not a stripper.
sillymcjews 0
now what the **** are you talking about?
copy125 0
Honestly, she walked right into that comment, besides, she just wanted to know her opinion on her question.
lonely_heart_89 6
I totally agree with nerdsgetmehot. OP, don't pay any attention to what that jerk said - he knows nothing about you. I don't know you either, but I'm betting you're a beautiful person, both inside and out. And Eleanor Roosevelt was indeed a VERY wise lady. :)
Jovecove 13
You sound too cool for a checker!
emmanizzer 6
Commander Shepard! You're on FML!!! I can't wait until ME3! :D
sniper_girl_15 0
Haha my name is sierra
ThreatenedOstric 7
Prove him wrong.
HomeAl0ne 20
Pour him a drink. Once he gets his beer goggles on, ask him again.
rcloca 10
As they say.... Ok I got nothin'.
rcloca 10
Mmm k
emmanizzer 6
Well, not all strippers have to be pretty.
nerdsgetmehot 23
That's not really the point of the FML. I imagine that OP's a bit pissed at the fact that the checker inferred that she was ugly.
Rabidkid 14
Not all strippers are pretty...
nerdsgetmehot 23
#111 I know that, I've been to a strip club.
TheManliestMan 0
Who asked?
emmanizzer 6
Well I understand that, it's just that he could have just been inferring that she doesn't look like she has the body to do pole tricks. Ha, I know it's unlikely, but it IS possible it wasn't about her attractiveness. Maybe? Possibly? Hopefully? No? :)