Today, my boyfriend and I were getting in the mood. I got on top of him, leaned down to kiss him, and he began to laugh. Puzzled, I asked him why. He told me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I reminded him of a cow, with "udders." Offended, I went to get off him. "No no!" he protested, "a SEXY cow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
thequickredofox 0
The correct reaction should have been "Offended, I got off, looked at his penis and laughed. When he asked why I told him it reminded me of an inchworm, a SEXY inchworm".
startafire 0
Guess he wasn't planning on continuing to get laid.
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Comments (139)
kawa_fml 0
I'm not quite sure what to think of this. lol #46
venomlash 9
What he meant to say was that you have a nice rack and when you're on all fours they dangle amusingly. I was able to tell my girlfriend that directly; maybe HE's just a little discombobulated at "certain times". This was just a horribly mangled compliment. The "no, no, a SEXY cow" bit was just equally discombobulated damage control.
FallOutBrunnette 0
hhaahaaha a sexy cow. if your boyfriend is thinking that cows are sexy, i am thinking you should talk to him about the danger of ***********, or you're gonna have a small cowman baby to take care of hun.
zschamp 0
# 46.. HAAHHAHAAH
FoundManyLemons 0
That's funny.
satanstoystore 0
maybe he is trying to get a feel for if she is ok being with a furry.
AshleyMK11212 0
sexy heffer
prospekt1 0
how do you really not know you are fat?
feminist19 0
dont take that sh*t from him and his microscopic penis, tell him to f*ck off and get a vibrator hunny
longday13 0
YDI for having sex with such a imature douche!!!!!