Today, my boyfriend and I were getting in the mood. I got on top of him, leaned down to kiss him, and he began to laugh. Puzzled, I asked him why. He told me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I reminded him of a cow, with "udders." Offended, I went to get off him. "No no!" he protested, "a SEXY cow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
thequickredofox 0
The correct reaction should have been "Offended, I got off, looked at his penis and laughed. When he asked why I told him it reminded me of an inchworm, a SEXY inchworm".
startafire 0
Guess he wasn't planning on continuing to get laid.
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Comments (139)
moonlight_daze 8
**** his life.. although he deserved it.
JT_JayTee 0
@ #15: thequickredofox- ROFL, that was one HELL of a comment ^^ & for the love of God, some of the OP's need to lighten up and learn to take a JOKE!
wazdog 4
YDI for posting another story about an oversensitive gf complaining about her insensitive (or funny depending on POV) bf.
obviously_damned 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Nothing like, "Damn, you're one freaking sexy cow!" That made my day! =]
xFazedFX 0
YDI for having sex... STAY PURE
feminist19 0
amen to that
irockmyworld 0
uh i think you need to get a sense of humour. there was really nothing offensive about what he said. it was just a funny comment. if you cant even laugh along with your bf, what are you doing with him?
PerryDelicious 0
no no no, some guys should realize that girls feel really exposed when they're naked and therefore you mustn't say crap like that...although the "noo noo..a SEXY cow"-part made me laugh...BUT STILL...naked girl=mind your lips!
lolipop6188 0
I agree with this. Some girls feel very exposed .. exspecially if they are self concious . Saying something or comparing your gf to a cow .. in any way .. is normally taken offensive . Mind Your Mouth Boys .
zubby 0
I've actually thought this many times but always kept my mouth shut.
bosshaug 0
Haha thats great I bet you still got off huh? You can get on me. I don't think you look like a cow
plexico 4
And when he eats you out does he say you look like a clam, a SEXY, bearded clam?