Today, my boyfriend and I were getting in the mood. I got on top of him, leaned down to kiss him, and he began to laugh. Puzzled, I asked him why. He told me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I reminded him of a cow, with "udders." Offended, I went to get off him. "No no!" he protested, "a SEXY cow." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
thequickredofox 0
The correct reaction should have been "Offended, I got off, looked at his penis and laughed. When he asked why I told him it reminded me of an inchworm, a SEXY inchworm".
startafire 0
Guess he wasn't planning on continuing to get laid.
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Comments (139)
DisappearingRose 18
Two words, mood ruined.
Sef220 1
Haha he was trying to be cute I think it has a slight innocence to it but he is pretty stupid
josephmendesgigg 0
if I was u I would be well in that case. let's ****
kandace17 0
hahah that sucks!!!
amandachara 1
I'm not fat, and I'm a D cup and my boobs still look udderly when i'm on all fours. Thats just what happens when you have big ****.
chlolzah 0
Tell him he looks like a buffalo
guppies 1
Well, we're still going out... so I wasn't that offended! The poor boy is a zoologist, and I'm not fat, so he's just SUPER tactless.
simonepedretti 7
HAHAHA that's funny!
Googolman 29
Girls are offended by everything. There is nothing wrong with cows. I would just laugh it off.
mlay 7
Gosh...some men are so needy sometimes. Alls they want is the treat, know what I mean? Anyway, It was rude of him to say that...probably doesn`t think before he speaks. You should be like you remind me of a dog when you say dumb things which indicates that he hasn`t got a brain.