Today, despite knowing full well that I am allergic to citric acid, I bought and ate candy that is essentially just powdered and flavoured citric acid. Now my tongue is too swollen and painful to eat. I’m a dumbass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
Today, I ended up in the hospital by accidentally eating poisonous berries, from a plant that I've known since childhood to be poisonous, which I also recognized as belonging to the nightshade family. I still don’t understand what made them look tasty. Brain fart of the century, I guess. FML
Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML
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Top comments
ass 11
I'm lactose intolerant and still went through 7 containers of yogurt and a half gallon (1.89L) of milk in 2 days. I'm about to go to war with my toilet.
Yudith 28
That reminds me of the story about the woman who always had sores on her lips. Her doctor had to tell her that the three bags of salt and vinegar chips she was eating every day were the cause of her sores. She was not a happy camper.
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Comments (6)
ass 11
I'm lactose intolerant and still went through 7 containers of yogurt and a half gallon (1.89L) of milk in 2 days. I'm about to go to war with my toilet.
lalalaila777 24
in kindergarten, i knew fully well i was allergic to peanut butter, but at snack time it was peanut butter crackers and i ate it anyways. at nap time, i was rushed out of the school to the ambulance to the hospital, where my parents met me in the emergency room. so i get it 😅
Crowned Sataness 12
yeah but lik em aids are worth the sacrifice
RichardPencil 32
So, you ****** up at "dropping acid?"
Yudith 28
That reminds me of the story about the woman who always had sores on her lips. Her doctor had to tell her that the three bags of salt and vinegar chips she was eating every day were the cause of her sores. She was not a happy camper.
donkus 3
he who has not, wants the most