Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I tried to sneakily leave my boyfriend's house at 3 a.m. without his parents knowing. I had a flat tire. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I got up at 2 AM to grab a snack. I quietly crept down the stairs, only to find my dad, mom, and a couple of their friends having a secret poker game. Now they think I have a sleepwalking problem. FML
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Top comments
be_happy1 0
Wow that sucks, you should definitely tell your mom.
samusfox 0
Blackmail him...
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Comments (280)
bonafidehustler 0
Did he at least invite you in for some wine and to meet his girlfriend?
Stephai 0
D: That sucks. I would tell. Sneaking out at night vs. Cheating on your wife? What an ass.
amykillswitch 0
this is so ******. i agree with what others have said. sneaking out isn't a big deal. this kinda is.
ZING_MASTER 0
DIVORCE ZING!
paperfox_fml 0
#29, why would they *want* to save their marriage? o.O
stinkybutt 0
that really blows. but his reaction is kindof funny.
nonotme 0
#8 all the way. Also, did you still end up getting in trouble for being out late?
mikitiki123 0
TELL YOUR MOM!!
Tehalon 0
To those who suggest blackmail. Hope you are aware that blackmail is a crime and punishable by law.
uneekfreak16 0
#36 When someone in a marriage cheats, it doesn't always have to end in divorce. Sometimes people want to try and make it work, and sometimes it does. Do you really think the OP wants her parents to divorce?