Today, I'm two months pregnant and can only seem to eat plain food consisting of mostly cheese. Now I’m constipated and haven’t pooped in two days. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, after two full months of trying to gain weight, I haven’t gained a single pound. Instead, I now have severe and irreversible digestive problems from overeating. FML
Today, I'm seven weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't Cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up two hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML
Today, after extensive tests due to pregnancy-related issues, I've been told my diet must change. I can no longer eat salt, sugar, gluten, or meat, and lactose is questionable. The doctor hopes it will end after the birth. Seven months to go. FML
Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML
Today, at 7 months pregnant, I have come to accept the morning sickness isn’t going to ease off. It’s so severe that I don’t make my meal choices based on calories or even cravings, rather on how bad it’ll taste when it comes back up. FML
Today, I’m eating a salad with a sparkling water once again. I’m 7 months pregnant. My husband says he’ll leave me if I ever get too fat after I give birth. I can’t afford to be a single mom, nor leave the marriage, so this is the cross I have to bear. FML
Today, it's day three of me having unexplained diarrhea that leaves me with such bad gas that it keeps me up at night. Less than a month ago I was complaining to my doctor about having severe chronic constipation. My digestive tract can't seem to make up it's mind. FML
Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML
Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Add fruit to your diet - apples, apple juice, bananas, etc or other dietary fiber. Lindor Dark Chocolate Truffles (the blue wrapped ones) or some other form or dark chocolate are a tasty way to help ease the situation (not more than 3 - 6 a day, though). At least this works for me and they are very tasty. Go to the drug store get a stool softener or a laxative similar to Miralax. These and dietary fiber such as Metamucil are the only laxatives or stool softeners that you can take on a regular basis.
RichardPencil 32
The good news is that when you finally push out that massive turd, it'll give you a preview of what's going to happen 7 months from now.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
The good news is that when you finally push out that massive turd, it'll give you a preview of what's going to happen 7 months from now.
Chazzster 32
Add fruit to your diet - apples, apple juice, bananas, etc or other dietary fiber. Lindor Dark Chocolate Truffles (the blue wrapped ones) or some other form or dark chocolate are a tasty way to help ease the situation (not more than 3 - 6 a day, though). At least this works for me and they are very tasty. Go to the drug store get a stool softener or a laxative similar to Miralax. These and dietary fiber such as Metamucil are the only laxatives or stool softeners that you can take on a regular basis.
RichardPencil 32
Thanks, Doc! Now I'm going to eat 3-6 Lindor chocolates a day to pre-emptively avoid constipation. Doctor's orders!
slhiggx 17
Take some stool softeners. Usually after birth they prescribe that to you. Ask your doc about it