Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pyapi 20
Maybe he has a thing for armpits instead of boobs??
juliapow22 5
You should probably start working out
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Comments (84)
olpally 33
Should've just redirected his hands then smoothly without him noticing.
Farmillionaire 8
This is how you know you need to hit the gym up and put down the mickey D's.
Yewufeefef 12
At least he didn't try to start sucking your pits.
FlyingPie 17
Well, that's the pits. Since you're just getting to know each other, just inform him of your body so that he can keep abreast of things.
molleyla 7
He probably have a thing for armpit and not boobs
breakinlegs 19
That's when you grab his hand and help guide him. Honestly, my arm pits are so ticklish that would never happen.
HeyTherexxx 21
Ignorance is bliss, OP.
laden_swallow09 35
Only for the ignorant.
Alastor13X 8
Maybe he was debating on whether he should go for boob or not. I remember as a teen, I really wanted to go for many things, so I would test the waters by rubbing my hands near the areas, but not touching them. Groping armpits is a bit weird in my opinion, but to each his own. I personally would rub my hand beneath the boob on the rib cage until I got a sign that said I was clear for landing. Try making it a little more obvious if it is possible. If he doesn't take the bait, grab his hand and put it there! That typically gets the point across without ruining the mood.
taylorzgoines 16
well it gets the point across for him, if the guy does it it's called sexual harassment :p
kiss_1214 17
Love your username
worldclassrager 41
Sometimes moving his hand a bit isn't too embarrassing it works and I have never heard a word a guide does work well