Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to kiss my boyfriend in a courtyard when a soccer ball hit me in the head, hard. My boyfriend remarked that it made a "hollow sound" when it hit me. FML
Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
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Top comments
ManBearP1g 0
Take a tennis racquet and whack him and say deuce.
sweet_candy_ 17
Kick his balls and then say GOAAAAAAL.
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Comments (143)
brookezee 2
ass
cg53mac 0
GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLL...oh, sorry
simpson790 0
that sounds alot like my ex
zarrah_fml 0
Wow. Me and my boyfriend were in the woods one day and he was trying to break a stick and accidentally hit me in the face after he hit it against a tree. He was very apologetic about it though. If he was the type to yell "goal" or something like that bad things would have happened. Like they probably would have found his body in the woods all messed up
JFle123 0
Snipe!!
mappinn 0
balls to the face!
1234USMC 0
hahaha your boyfriends awesome!!!
fuckmylife_co_uk 0
lad.
SAgirl 23
dont you mean ex bf?
42billybob 5
You know, when you work really hard at building a relationship over the course of more than a few weeks things like this get forgiven. I don't mean sit there and take beatings every day and believe the psychopath when he says it's your fault, I mean don't write off someone as a person on the basis of a single lapse in judgment. Men aren't always right and sometimes our sense of humour goes too far but you could cut us some slack every now and then. Haven't we earned it after all the PMS shit we put up with from you?
Jenny_jen_fml 0
lol this is funny you were probably too close fyl