Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to kiss my boyfriend in a courtyard when a soccer ball hit me in the head, hard. My boyfriend remarked that it made a "hollow sound" when it hit me. FML
Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
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Top comments
ManBearP1g 0
Take a tennis racquet and whack him and say deuce.
sweet_candy_ 17
Kick his balls and then say GOAAAAAAL.
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Comments (143)
619warrior281 5
hit him where his hockey pucks are.
Zebidee 9
YDI for not wearing a mask. Go find a pair of gloves from aisle 3, throw them on the ground, and start wailing on him.
Monkeymolli 0
my brother hit me in the eye with a baseball once and then ran around in a circle screaming homerun!!! I have a black eye for weeks
ulicksam 0
Your boyfriend's an idiot, but you're dating him. Doesn't look good for you either.
bevsays 0
My boy would totally do that...
Madiluvscookies 0
Keeper(: It's okay OP, your lips will be back to normal in no time, and I'm almost positive my boy would do the same thing.
EvilDave 13
OP, you were dating him. Your post says he is still your b/f. So, you either knew or you now know how he is and still choose to date him. Therefore, YDI.
beantownrican 0
lmao that's awesome
emily14swim 0
ouch. fyl.
JokeMeister 0
he's the kind of MF that laffs when u fall and break ur leg. u chose him.