Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my now ex was angrily moving out of our place. She slammed the door so hard behind her it bounced back wide open instead of latching. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. Since I was out of town, all I could do was watch helplessly on the Ring camera as my place was emptied out. FML
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML
Today, my abusive ex-husband thought it was a good idea to buy the house next door and start living there immediately. Looks like I gotta move. FML
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Top comments
thedell3030 21
I hope you called the police and everything worked out, OP!
carl_carl_ 28
Get a restraining order!!
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Comments (56)
Eliteknif3R 10
I would say restraining order but it's just a piece of paper after all...
Morning_fml 22
Wake him up to the sound of the police knocking at his door.
xx000o 27
One of those treasured sounds you put on the list of I hope I never have to hear that again.
bnbhimp 10
Shotgun. Clickity clow clown!
Razell 13
Guns would be an option if OP lived somewhere civilized. Alas, OP has the misfortune of being in New York.
ronnixoxo 18
everyone has that one ex that you look back on & think 'damn, i really should have stopped taking my medication with that one.'
GhostFox 34
This shit is why I am scared to date. I have enough problems, I don't need to add an emotionally unstable person to that list, and if that means staying single, I will damn well stay single.
Radayam 19
Heeeeeere's Johnny!
laden_swallow09 35
Red… RUM!
Etweens96 25
Op, call the police, try to press charges and get a restraining order. Stay safe op and happy new year!
ThrottleJockey 36
A shotgun comes in handy in situations such as these. Just cocking it can get the point across.
LeSourCream 2
chloroform helps too op, use that pack your shit and be gone by the time they wake up