Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try role play. She suggested I be a robber, so I went outside and tried to break in my window, wearing nothing but my underwear and a ski mask on. She decided it would be funny to call the cops, because it would, "add to the mood." They came. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with some kinky role play. I chose a sexy naughty nun's outfit, complete with head cover, thigh-high stockings and crotchless panties. I guess my outfit was a little too convincing, because he couldn’t get it up. Thanks Catholic guilt. FML
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML
Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
Today, for my boyfriend's 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit, and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
i think if you would have just come out and started speaking ****, you wouldn't be having this problem.
TrueTriage 16
Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!
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Comments (180)
dangousity 21
**** that.. That's hot lol
pmadNess 16
Why isn't he doing his own laundry after that? I would leave it for him...
KiddNYC1O 22
Alone? Did he go tell his boys?
garrett8614 2
I would have laughed too. That just sounds like it came straight out of a bad porno lol.
Dale194 0
That sucks OP. :( Good for you for trying and doing your best for him. His loss.
freshx_fml 6
Sofa king awesome.
fcryingoutloud 9
You'd at the very least think twice before admitting to anti-Semitic "humour" of this sort. So... enjoy the last couple of years of Russians being an acceptable target. We notice. We're beginning to care. We don't make a point of being "sensitive" but the sheer idiocy of your Russophobia is enough reason to put an end to it.
toelie 26
Whoa there, I hope you're joking. There's nothing anti-semitic about this FML whatsoever.
Shrike 24
Yeah, what the ****? Besides, 83, aren't YOU the Russophobic/stereotyping person here for bunching all Russians together and claiming you all feel exactly the same way about OP's joke? You've got serious mental issues, mate.
fcryingoutloud 9
I was using anti-Semitism as an analogy. Of course there isn't. But it's Russophobic as f*ck and just try to imagine something posted online about a roleplay ridiculing Jews in a sexual context. 89, nice try. I didn't say anything about all Russians. Just about there being enough of us soon, with enough influence, to stop this crap.
Shrike 24
Hahaha! Sure you did, you said "we" as in "we Russians". My god, pull your head out of your ass. You're starting to sound like a toddler. You sound dangerously paranoid, or like you're just looking for something to fight over. Grow up and find something better to be offended by. Your pathetic crypto-threats are as empty as your skull.
marshmelo17 5
83 - sounds like something only a Russian spy would say.
flockz 20
sorry i still don't see how this post ridicules Jews. or Russians. or really anything but OP's word usage. but then again my cup of 'give a shit' has been pretty empty today.
fufik 3
****, you bitch. We, female Russian spys speak two languages: Russian and ****-your-butt-idiotic-woman. and we are sexier than you kind of
shark_girl 9
Sorry, but that's pretty funny.
MrSarary 26
I would of done almost the same thing except I would of stopped laughing and got down to business