Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try role play. She suggested I be a robber, so I went outside and tried to break in my window, wearing nothing but my underwear and a ski mask on. She decided it would be funny to call the cops, because it would, "add to the mood." They came. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with some kinky role play. I chose a sexy naughty nun's outfit, complete with head cover, thigh-high stockings and crotchless panties. I guess my outfit was a little too convincing, because he couldn’t get it up. Thanks Catholic guilt. FML
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML
Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
Today, for my boyfriend's 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit, and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
i think if you would have just come out and started speaking ****, you wouldn't be having this problem.
TrueTriage 16
Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!
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Comments (180)
lovepandorasaver 11
You should of just jumped Onatopp! I'm really wondering if you had to do the laundry because he pissed himself, or if thats just where your night ended up.
joethebiden 8
Doing his laundry? Well did he PRACTICALLY piss himself or did he actually go through with it?
gracehi 33
I wondered the same thing!
Enslaved 38
You are an obsession You're my obsession Who do you want me to be, to make you sleep with me?
venti_bold 3
haha, way to bring out that 80s tune from oblivion... dunno what it was called though?
Jaxx66 21
Oblivion? Psh, I have this song on my iTunes. It's called 'Obsession' and it's by Animotion. I loves this song.
A_Hernandez90 2
forget that bed wetter... why don't speak that awesome with my friend named Dick... ;)
cosmosis 12
Your friend named Dick sounds like a real knob! Hes probably broke and doesn't work.
BlowinChronic 18
I really couldn't think of any reply to this comment except "No. Just no."
martin_martian7 11
That's pretty funny but after a good laugh I'll still have sex no doubt
rooney0710 5
Maybe you tried a little too hard :p
onorexveritas 24
his loss but still that line sounds dumb haha
paramor3 23
Your duck face is dumber
Rosie_Posie43 12
Nothing sexier than a Russian doing your laundry
ToBeAnnounced 2
Maybe you should practice on some role play forums first.
Anonymiz 4
Did you say this in English? Maybe he was laughing at your inability to count to 3.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Why are we counting to 3?! I never got the memo :/
div01 2
She said she's fluent in 2 languages: Russian and his ****. But she was speaking English.. Three languages. Just explaining..