Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down, laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
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Top comments
thewalrus421 0
'out of the corner of your ear?'
CaptainPat 0
Well, maybe he asked that because you have pointy ears with corners. And was wondering why he didn't have corners in his ears.
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Comments (47)
candygurl91 0
Ahahahaa! #1 your hilarious xD but really, you must look kinda funny or something. sorry you had yo hear it from a little kid rofl awkward
fuck_OUR_lives 0
what? why would he be looking at you funny?
jarofarts 0
the thing about kids is they are honest to a fault. so ... what's wrong with your face?
wrestler_fml 0
I ****** hate little kids, I swear. The little ******* act innocent, but we all know their real intentions. Devils inside. hahahaha
maximumpower 4
to all those who think that there really is something wrong with with my face: If there is, no one has told me before this kid. Oh, and my ears aren't cornered, it's just an expression
metalhead5564 0
First time I ever saw OP post a comment on their fml before :O
nokel11 7
the expression is seeing something out "of the corner of your eye" dumbass. how could u hear something from the corner of your ear?!
jdrives 0
...am I the only person who has never heard of that expression before?
Sybe 0
Rofl.
Zoa_fml 0
So, why does your face look like that?
dcapp 0
hear out of the corner of your ear? thats not an expression. seeing out of the corner of your eye is an expression. ears don't have corners and you can't control where you hear out of your ear. nice try though :)
Ironicles 1
What a little ****, you should've walked up to him and stabbed him in the neck with a fork
veesky 0
lol lets stab the little kid god i hate the brats
hoodstar765 0
lol OMG
Yorih 19
That seems a bit excessive... No?