Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML
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Top comments
Jelbeztok 17
so.. did you kill it?
RowanNightShade 22
"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"
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Comments (143)
happyfingers 15
... Idiot -.- Hope your leg is alright though. That must've hurt like a mother.
KennyJF7 14
If the spider was the size of his palm, and he killed it, it was totally worth it. But... Next time try crushing it instead.
Ksweety_fml 27
OUCH!!!!
Memen88 16
oh OP I bet that hurt so bad, but its totally your fault that you stabbed yourself sorry
The_Tenth_Doctor 14
I don't understand why so many people are scared of spiders.
glabberfasted 16
I don't understand why you're afraid of anything that you're afraid of. The whole meaning behind irrational fears is that they're *irrational*
misUnderstood23 9
Damn, I think that I would too 11 and OP.
Brammetjee 3
So...... Did you killed it or not?
trackmfs 3
what kind of pocket knife?
JustStella 28
Sounds like the time my mom was shaving her legs and felt an itch... decided to go ahead and scratch it with the razor blades. She showed me afterwards and it was the most gruesome thing. /storytime
Ninjin1986 23
That's how I once lost one of my eyebrows when I felt an itch there while shaving. Luckily it grew back pretty fast ;)
Linda_zlk 12
Ouchhhhh , Sounds so badly hurts .