Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML
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Top comments
Jelbeztok 17
so.. did you kill it?
RowanNightShade 22
"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"
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Comments (143)
mac8080 7
Hope u are ok
carelessxdanger 9
yes, because people stab spiders. i prefer to smash them.
Setareh23 34
Your name says it all.
Ecudaniel 16
I don't blame him is a mother ******* spider!!!
TheAnonGal 7
Oh yes, because the average person staps a spider..
olpally 33
Way to go op. Lmao. I bet you didn't even kill the spider. Hahaha.
EmmaMK 35
Maybe you need some time apart from your pocket knife, what if it was on someone else's leg. Most people just brush spiders off, but some people scream like a banshie. While others concoct ways to remove the beast to a safe location and then sit triumphant.
riashah 14
Brilliant move. R.I.P Spider.
RedPillSucks 33
good thing it wasn't on your face or your nutsack.
samcazo 3
Sadly I probably would have had the same reaction.