Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML
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Top comments
Jelbeztok 17
so.. did you kill it?
RowanNightShade 22
"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"
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Comments (143)
Gittoh 21
at least the knife were clean : D or...
Blizztastic21 17
I hope the knife wasn't sharp!
jesuismelogee 16
Would you rather be stabbed by a butter knife or a sharp pocket knife? I'd rather sharpness over dullness. It would hurt either way but less damage afterwards.
FemskyD 26
I can soo relate to that :p hope your injury isnt to bad =)
KasiaLilith 13
You're lucky it wasn't on your face..
stardustjunkie 12
Man enough to own a pocket knife, not man enough to calmly deal with a spider on his leg.
Otaku31 19
Something similar happened to me. I was outside holding a pocket knife. A spider fell from a tree and landed on my hand. I didn't try to stab it, just quickly brush it off. The only problem was I forgot to drop the knife and ended up cutting my finger. :(
Curlytwirly22 17
Well are you okay now ????
laylarose1396 7
Same. I am so very terrified of spiders.
worldclassrager 41
It's a spider...shoo it off your leg and then stomp on it...if it's a big one you are better of stabbing...
arandomperson97 19
Looks like your gonna need to re-clean that pocket knife. That sucks OP
aniluapss 9
Natural selection is giving you a hint