Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML
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Top comments
Jelbeztok 17
so.. did you kill it?
RowanNightShade 22
"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"
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Comments (143)
abbbeyS 14
Did you at least kill the spider??
rawr_monster_ 15
Ouch....ouch.
Slovejf33 11
Don't ever clean a gun, ok?
FrankHotpants 31
When it comes to killing a spider you can never over do it, wether it's burning your house down, driving your car off a cliff, or stabbing yourself, nothing seems crazy at the time.
Wild_Marco 13
This is why we think before we act. :p
Goth_Hawk 28
Wow, funny thing is my sister just had a similar incident by stabbing herself in the leg with her pocketknife, by having it unfolded on her keyring then bending over so it dug itself into her thigh. She isn't completely dumb, she was cutting up twine in the stable she works in and it was easier to have it unfolded instead of the whole opening closing process for each piece.
YeahBuddy4322 9
You are literally to stupid to insult
Xotoolyxo 16
Stitches...lots of stitches
lousypotatoes 20
Your nick is 100% accurate.
skipper2009 18
That brain cell of yours can only work so hard.