Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
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Top comments
JusstJef 16
Please don't elaborate on the rash. We don't need to know.
Coffee5555 14
says the one with a pic like that....
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Comments (60)
Bekll 31
It is to some people. My roommate says the same thing.
courtney_leath 14
Itch isn't a verb. Scratch is though.
914smv 18
Deff check that out OP. It could spread to other areas.
vikky538 29
Ouch..
neuronerd 29
I hope you were on your way to the doctor.
Dynamite73 25
Zika!
EarlFug 19
It's public transport, not pubic.
LoLoLibra1 14
Should've gotten up and did a little dance whilst moving your legs strategically as to scratch that itch!! Then someone could've filmed you and you could've been the star of the next viral online video - going too far...? Yeah, probably...that sucks OP and I'm sure it was VERY embarrassing as well!! Hopefully you don't take this same train all the time and there will be a different set of people on next time you go...? I don't remember your post completely so I don't know if you travel for work on a daily basis or not...hang in there!! People are so wrapped up in their own crap these days that nobody will remember by tomorrow...hopefully anyway, right?? Walk proud & shake it off!! ; )
dragoongirl90 34
How inappropriate of you. Today's uncouth populace thinks it's okay to do things like scratch their privates in public and then get all pissy when they get in trouble for it.
jordantheiceman 3
It's called scratching it..... So yea you deserved it