Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML
Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML
Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML
Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Thank you, OP, for making a pussy reference in the FML. It spared us from a half a dozen bad ones in the comments.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Full or Brazillian?
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Comments (104)
shadow7x 10
oh man, that's hilarious
akiahara 14
Did you seriously wax your cat instead of cutting the strip out? That's just cruel...
Xalandra 17
^Exactly my point!
outoftown 27
On the bright side, the cat may be less likey to jump on the counter. At least that counter.
broncos67 9
Just shave next time?
Ziggy122 15
I'm sorry, but the wording of this scenario is ******* hilarious.
missfrenchie 11
The poor cat! Didn't you have baby oil in you house? Baby oil turns the wax 'soft' so that the wax would slide off easily
katiebugs22 4
soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of... nope :D
kyletk 7
Oh wow that play on words got me laughing pretty good. great fml, poor pussycat...
Sodapop40 21
I would sleep with one eye open
foxykz 13
revenger of the cat?
ethereana 2
seems like the cat might actually get your toungh eh? but that sucks alot though for you and your cat (mostly the cat)