Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML
Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML
Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML
Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Thank you, OP, for making a pussy reference in the FML. It spared us from a half a dozen bad ones in the comments.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Full or Brazillian?
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Comments (104)
BVBarmy_girl 22
Purr, purr kitty c;
ColbyGB 13
Why not just shave? If you're going to wax, wouldn't you have someone do it for you?
taranpreet 7
Way cheaper to do it yourself. Shaving sucks in general.
daniel_dd31 13
At least one of you will be ready for your husband. Lol
anythingmustbe 18
Better the cat than you. Well at least now the cat will be able to show off its waxed figure.
gracehi 33
Just make sure mini-you doesn't eat the kitty and all will be well.
billyz77 24
This is too funny!! I'm going to be chuckling for a long time over this one. Thanks for helping me to cheer up, OP. Sure hope the staples and stitches hold.
gracehi 33
I'm sorry if you really are terminally ill but... Is your profile for real?
billyz77 24
24 - We are all terminal. It's just that some of us will probably get there a bit quicker than we should. My profile is true but I like yours a lot more. :)
gracehi 33
Well I hope you get better so you can be an even older and uglier corpse. And thanks! If you like my profile, you'll love the YouTube video it's referencing. YouTube search "dramatic reading of a breakup letter" and hold onto your stitches!
gracehi 33
Make sure the volume is up, btw.
iammeorami 25
I hope you get better lad. Best with life.
Bunchofdipsticks_fml 6
Forgive me if this is rude/impolite, but would you mind messaging me your story? I read your profile and would like to hear more if you don't mind.
jennuhm 4
Ummm why wouldn't you just shave or cut the hair off vs pulling it?
gracehi 33
Because waxing has smoother and longer-lasting results.
asb818 14
I think they meant when removing it from the cat...but I guess a smoother cat could be ok.
gracehi 33
Ah. That does make more sense now that you mention it.
kay71095 9
25- that's exactly what I was thinking. I don't know why people would thumb you down for having a logical suggestion
hryffff 11
Soo the pussy is sore?
twinkie193 6
M.
twinkie193 6
M.
gracehi 33
M&M? Mmmmmmmm....