Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML
Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, I confidently told my friends I had a high spice tolerance and took a shot of insanely hot ghost pepper sauce. I immediately hiccuped, tears started streaming down my cheeks, and I coughed so hard I fell off my chair and knocked stuff off of the table. We were in a restaurant. FML
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
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Top comments
Trainn 19
Savage cat.
latenerd 11
Sounds like a cat all right.
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Comments (50)
Saraishi 25
The cat thought you needed to spice up your life a little. That arsehole.
limeychefboy 15
YDI for letting animals in the kitchen when you're cooking.:). I hope you weren't injured. Thats no fun. Also empathy on the eyes. Had it happen to me with red curry paste in a blender. No fun either:)
Doberman101 29
It's a cat. They roam. I'm quite sure if OP kicked it out, it would still find a way to get in the kitchen.
Ominous_NomNom 13
If you had only left out the part where you scolded her for lack of common sense, you would have been up there with the top comments.
joe1105 11
A cats way of saying "I love you" I guess
deltax 8
tl;dr: I have a cat. fml
Ominous_NomNom 13
Yeah. This farce gets approved for submission while several way more credible stories are being cast to FML hell. I'm so tired of the cat stories that I've started YDI voting on all of them. How can the mods claim to exclude unoriginal entries, yet allow 99% of the cat stories take over?
orangejubejube 20
Sounds like a cat-astrophe
rebeccac12 18
always pick up the cat to move them, don't just tell them to move. they have a superiority complex.
TheSecretShadow 13
What a CATastrophe
species4872 20
The cat's got your number.
catlady4eva 9
Why do you say the cat instead of my cat?
SecondBee 12
Sometimes, when a person lives with another person that other person has animals. Like when you have a roommate you hate that has a cat that sprays everything and they act like it's not a problem. Not my cat, lived in my house.
SomeRandomUser 19
This is why I don't have cats.