Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML
Today, my 8-month-old dog decided to decorate the living room by tearing apart a rented college textbook, the reference guide that went with it, and part of a color therapy book. FML
Today, I went to my local library to study. As I settled in, I dropped my water bottle, causing a mini flood. Panicked, I tried to clean it up with paper towels, only to knock over a stack of books, creating a domino effect of chaos. The librarian gave me the dirtiest look. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, I found out that someone found my lost library card, and instead of returning it, took out multiple items. If they don't return them, I'm on the hook to paying over $100 for them. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
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Top comments
singlwforlife 22
You would think that something like that would be self explanatory... People no longer speak up when things go wrong or not as expected. They just shove things aside and hope the next person to encounter the problem doesn't notice it... Like vomit in a book. No one will notice that.
lexiieeex3 32
Isn't the general rule that if a book is damaged in any way you replace it?
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Comments (27)
Sizly 12
You should make them compensate for the book, OP. Although, try not to be too harsh. I know if I threw up on a book, I definitely wouldn't have the guts to face the librarians wrath. FYL
higgysaurus 18
Too harsh? I think asking people to not bring in books with throw up on them seems pretty reasonable.
feliciaheartu 21
Those patron need some sense knocked into them. Would they want a gift filled with vomit?
singlwforlife 22
You would think that something like that would be self explanatory... People no longer speak up when things go wrong or not as expected. They just shove things aside and hope the next person to encounter the problem doesn't notice it... Like vomit in a book. No one will notice that.
couchcat 25
I once got a book from the library that had dicks drawn on almost every page.
anonymuse_fml 31
That is just sick...
Fmelikeuhateme 24
Intended pun, or just an innocent comment? :p
anonymuse_fml 31
Automatic reaction that coincidentally was also a pun... LOL
arano 29
It must have been The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs
arano 29
Obviously none of you watch South Park
shiba10 26
On the bright side they still return books, shame they're vomited on haha
Soniarita 18
some people are just disgusting and don't see what is clearly wrong with what they're doing. yuck. sorry OP hope you didn't get sick after that
ForwardUn2Dawn 18
There should be some sort of liability policy signed when a library card is received. Libraries don't always have the biggest budget for books.
militarybrat 21
There is. At least at the library I worked at and the one i am currently patroning.
L_1781 18
Take the book back and then once they ask for another, take it and put some spaghetti in the back page. Then proceed to open the book to the final page, and smash it into their face; which then simultaneously spoils the ending and and gives them an pre dinner snack
lexiieeex3 32
What is wrong with you...
Lalala579121 28
Yes, let's ruin even more books for some stupid, juvenile prank. I guess if you really want to be fired from your job that badly, that's one way to do it.
arrowgold 19
I've never thought of reading to my dog...
lexiieeex3 32
But if you leave a book lying around it's possible for a dog to damage and/or throw up on it.
doodlecloud 27
Actually reading to dogs is a great way to get children to read. Seriously, there have been studies on it and it's been introduced in some schools.