Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
He's telling you he has to go, you should listen to him even if he doesn't actually have to go. He's learning still and you've only just gotten him out of nappies.
moodyreallyrocks 27
I think its a lesson learned OP!!
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Comments (52)
Yahya25 9
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moodyreallyrocks 27
I think its a lesson learned OP!!
smokeduck115 23
bet that was a shitty experience
Earths_Venus 25
Well, shit.
TeraBaap 21
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Mauskau 36
He's telling you he has to go, you should listen to him even if he doesn't actually have to go. He's learning still and you've only just gotten him out of nappies.
132ikl 11
I didn't get out of nappies until I was 5.
dharmaint 15
Nappies was not said
Mauskau 36
If he was wearing a nappy, shit wouldn't have fallen out. They're designed to contain. Plus if he wants to use the potty, he's probably not wearing nappies anymore.
beararm 11
lol no hating but damn but y u post that seeing that is worse but damm now u gotra hit us too?
Jared900DUmpling 30
Maybe OP posted it because this is FML and the incident in the story is fairly unpleasent?
theloanranger 3
English ************! Do you speak it?
akgirl29 7
Maybe next time you'll listen when he says he has to do...
Muppet_B 3
Buy some pull-up training diapers. You go out in public, better safe than sorry.
juturnaamo 29
if they're already trained, pull ups make the kids in my class lazy, like, they'll pee in their pull ups even if they always pee in the toilet without them.
PyroAngel1821 13
or you could just take the kid to the bathroom when they say they have to potty.
ragnarok1540 39
"A giant turd" ... from a 2 year old! What are you feeding your kid, fiber-one with a side of tree bark? Anyway, when a kid says he/she has to go, you never take chances. Young kids are just getting used to their body signals and don't have the kind of voluntary muscle control/tone of adults.
LittleLittlered7 6
A giant turd from a two year old? As a mom of a now 15 year old I can promise you that does happen. At two, my Anthony Ray reached down into his undies and said "here". I mean, I have no idea how that monstrosity could even fall out of anyone's butt let alone a creature that (at the time) only hit 3'2". The best part? He blinked those long lashed green eyes at me, quivered his lip and " tay tank ooo mama!" (Say thank you mama")