Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner for the first time. The place was full of his ex's stuff, books on the shelves, makeup in the bathroom, clothes in the closet and even shoes on the floor. Not to mention creepy plush toys staring at me. She left him 8 years ago. FML
Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
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Top comments
flutter4 7
He just wanted extra love from you
lacespace 8
Boo it's a criminal master mind!
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Comments (149)
LexieWins 0
At least he's creative.
winnerme123 8
He just wanted to have sex with you at his place.
KooLDooD121 0
He wanted to be one of the ghostbusters
dashizam 10
When there's something strange... ...........in the neighborhood......
Steve95401 49
Who ya gonna call? ... I ain't afraid of no ghost.
senor_awesome 14
just pray he doesnt summon a giant stay puffed marshmallow man. thats when you are really ******.
enormouselephant 15
So did your furniture stay perfectly put during the weekends (Or whatever days you have off)?
Darkme 1
time for a new bf
flutter4 7
Why?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Wow, really? "My boyfriend did something silly and strange. Time to dump him!" No. No one would have relationships, ever.
chippa 24
"My boyfriend has such a ridiculous lack of communication skills that he broke into my house and scared the living shit out of me so that he would feel needed." If it were -me,- I'd get out of that one ASAP...
vbmg152 19
You mean ex boyfriend, right? If not, YDI! Get a new boyfriend!
TurquoiseJesus 15
There is no way you could actually have been born in 62 and actually believe what you just said.
TurquoiseJesus 15
Additionally, to any one who reads the precious comment, I apologize for the repetition of the word 'actually'. My bad.
TurquoiseJesus 15
*previous I'm done now.
lokman_fml 7
He wanted you to move in with him, but couldn't find the right way to ask
Enslaved 38
I would have set up cameras to catch the "ghost" in action.
fishstick557 14
it means you should pay more attention to him
fishstick557 14
it means you should pay more attention to him